I Identify As A Feminist, Hilarity Ensues. (And An Early Review Of "Black Male Outsider")

Last week, while taking a break from unpacking boxes in my new apartment, I walked down to Lake Merritt to read some more of Gary L. Lemons' "Black Male Outsider", a book that i've only read 20 something pages of but has really been blowing my mind. More about that later. I see a colleague running around the lake, and he is running with a woman friend. He recognizes me, and they slow to a stop to take a break, panting through introductions and stretching. My colleague starts talking shop, and the dark glasses wearing woman looks down and asks "what are you reading?" I show her. She reads the title, and then the subtitle: "Teaching As A Pro-Feminist Man." Her eyebrows arch skyward, and she lets out a hearty laugh, repeating the subtitle as if it were punchline from a good joke, with extra enunciation of the word feminist, to accentuate the absurdity of the "joke". I calmly smile and say "yes, i write a feminist blog." She looks back down at the book, her expression partly hidden by her glasses. She reads the back a bit, nodding slowly, saying nothing. What is she thinking? Meanwhile, I don't think my male colleague actually caught any of this, he was ranting about something unfortunate that happened at work. At some point, they decide their break was long enough. We smile and say good byes and good to meet yous. I watch them run away... and I am left with the impression that somehow, the idea of being a black man who identifies as feminist... is funny. Hilarious. Farcical. Something that comes on after Tyler Perry's House Of (Dire) Pain with a laugh track that comes on while the main character does an action for gender equality and justice. 

I think about the reactions I would have had if the woman had been black. If she had been white. She was a mixed race woman, probably in her mid 20's, and I personally don't know if she identifies as a woman of color. I wonder how i could have handled it differently. I wonder if she left still thinking it was funny, or if it left some other impression. I wonder how i could have brought my male colleague into this surprising and short moment. But most of all, I ponder that for this woman, somehow my maleness and/or blackness makes the idea of me being feminist kinda ridiculous. 

Would love to hear thoughts on this! And to be clear, though this left me feeling a little bit shaken, confused and minimized, i don't perceive this action as a mindful attack, or even something that i should judge this woman about. It brings up larger questions for me besides this woman's experience. If anything, I appreciate the opportunity to think about what this incident raised for me. 

SO YES. The book! 

It is a memoir and scholarly treatise that is speaking very very deeply to me (yes!! you understand me!! i nod my head so much while reading this) and like i said, i haven't gotten too far. I appreciate that he entitles the book "Black Male Outsider" because he has chosen to mindfully stand outside of the prescribed roles of heterosexism and patriarchal masculinity. Which definitely holds one up to public scrutiny and suspicion. How on point that I receive laughter for identifying with this book! Black Male Outsider indeed. Here are some of my favorite quotes so far:

"...Black Male Outsider functions as a pedagogical autobiography of black male liberation. With unbridled candor, it lays bare my yearning to be free from years of internalized wounds of white supremacist thinking and patriarchal masculinity. At risk of sounding overly dramatic, I am no longer afraid to admit that embracing black feminist thought was a life saving action for me." -xvi

"The more i scraped through the thickly layered, crusted-over pain of past boyhood hurts and heteronormative notions of masculinity attached to feelings of racial inferiority, the clearer I began to see the work in this memoir as spiritually grounded."-xix

 "We promote the belief that all men should be in perpetual process of soul work toward the rejection of white supremacist patriarchy." -xix

And there is much more, with references to bell hooks, Aaronette White, Manning Marable, Patricia Hill Collins, W.EB. Dubois, Alice Walker, Marlon Riggs, Audre Lorde and more. Click to Feminist Review for a full review from someone who has read more than i have! 

I do really love that Lemons speaks of this path as being spiritually grounded. This is spirit work, this is heart work. Love is a large motivational factor for me doing this work, as most of the people in my life are female, people i love. There are also many LGBTQ folks in my life who i love. It has become hard for me to reconcile saying that i love people while turning away when oppression is a daily experience for the people i say i love. It is a path of self-respect as well, when considering that latter notion. And also self-love, as Lemons demonstrates with the willingness to plumb into and heal the tender and exploited parts of himself that were warped by patriarchy. This is work I also continue to lovingly do. Among many other things, this path is a spiritual path of revolutionary love.  

Who do you love? 

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Ain't I A Feminist? Aaronette M. White's Study Of Black Feminist Masculinities.

Hey everyone, sorry for the lapse in time since my last post, its been a bit hectic! But I wanted to be sure to read enough of this amazing new book (dare I say, my new sacred text??) by Aaronette M. White, "Ain't I A Feminist? African American Men Speak Out on Fatherhood, Friendship, Forgiveness and Freedom." (link gives excerpts from book)

In this book, AMW questions whether men can be feminists at all in her chapter "From Healthy Doubt to Critical Acceptance", she documents the role of Black men in feminist movements hundreds of years ago, quoting Fredrick Douglass saying "I am a radical woman suffrage man." She calls Black feminist men the "Sons Of Sojourner Truth" since Truth refused to prioritize issues of race over issues of gender. In the biographical sketches that AMW has collected of Black men who self identify as feminist, profeminist, antisexist or womanist, all of the men interviewed exemplify this intersectional approach to multiple systems of oppression in our communities. These men talk about the events that became the turning points towards this way of being and thinking, and both AMW and these men share visions of fatherhood, romantic and platonic relationships, and a truly holistic movement for Black liberation and healing. I'm telling you, this is THE BOOK!! I would even recommend this for people who aren't black folks... just because templates for dismantling patriarchy in our communities are here.

Allow me to have AMW and the men speak for themselves:

"What can be learned about feminist Black men's definitions and practices of manhood that would challenge institutional inequities, while contributing to the viability of African American communities and the construction of a humane and just society?" -AMW, pg.2

“Black feminism is frequently misunderstood. It may help to note what it is not. Adding the adjective “Black” to the term feminism does not mean that it is White feminism donned in blackface, for Black women only, or Black people only. Rather, there is more than one kind of feminism because culture, class, sexuality and a host of other experiential factors shape feminist perspectives. Thus. Black feminist thought, as used here, does not assume an essence of Blackness; instead it understands “Black” as a construct that reflects the intersection of a variety of institutional power relations. Black feminist thought has historically emphasized the intersection of race, class and gender, highlighting how African American women and other social groups are positioned within unjust power relations.” -AMW, pg.6

“What can feminist Black men’s narratives teach us about how to raise boys? How do we recognize feminist Black masculinities and support the different versions of it when we them, in the interest of broad social change? What are the public policy implications of their feminist activism?” -AMW, pg.11

“Men have to take responsibility to educate their kids and other men about sexism in the same way that White people have to take responsibility to educate their kids and other White people about racism.” - Jake, social justice activist, pg. 24

“When you become antisexist, you are perceived by others as a defector. Men don’t trust you, and a lot of women don’t trust you either.” -Bruce, Co-ordinator of program for men who batter women, pg. 17

“My experiences as a Black gay man have been at the heart of the anti-sexist work i do.... One of the messages that men get growing up is that the worst thing in the world for a man to be is gay, and to be gay is to be interpreted as being like a woman. People think, “Oh you’re gay so you must want to be a woman” or “You’re a fag because you are acting like a woman.” To come to grips with being gay has meant, for me, coming to grips with negative attitudes that men have about women and to realize that there is nothing awful about being a woman! I mean, tell me, what is so awful about a man being like a woman? So, addressing these woman-hating attitudes is at the heart of my work with men.” - Rex, Social Worker, pg. 27

“I grew up in a family where I saw a lot of violence meted out by my father to my mother. I hated how my father treated my mother. But I had to learn that if you’re not actively involved in unlearning behavior that you hate, you may find yourself repeating what you hate. I know what I am talking about because I became a batterer just like my father. I owe a lot to my ex-wife because she showed me pretty dramatically that being a batterer was not the thing for me to be. She shot me. If that doesn’t get your attention, nothing will.” - Soyinka, Labor Unionist, pg. 28

“In traditional Christian patriarchal culture, God is always male; and in traditional Christian White supremacist culture, God is always a white male. So, my struggle has been- over the course of my life- to remove the Whiteness of God’s image, then- over the course of my feminist life- remove the maleness from God’s image.” -Alan, Pentecostal Minister, pg. 34

Black men who are cognizant of the particular predicament of Black women, as persons who experience both racism and sexism, tend to prioritize race issues over gender issues and argue that Black women should do the same (likewise, liberal White feminist women often expect Black women to rank gender issues over race issues when the interests of both collide) -AMW, pg. 43

Men, primarily, teach boys and men to be violent. Regardless of how badly a father treats his child or the child’s mother, he also teaches, by example, a shameless way of being in the world; his actions say to the boy, “You, too, can behave as I do when you become a man.” Too often, “what fathers pass on to their children is their own unacknowledged pain, and in instances of violence, a male sense of entitlement to inflict pain on others.” -AMW, pg. 48

Boys who show the worst psychological development are not always those without fathers but, often, those with abusive or neglectful fathers.... Current research suggests that the key factor in a boy’s healthy relationship to his father is affection, not some essential, yet vague, role modeling of a particular concept of masculinity. - AMW, pg. 53

....when Black men truly see their fate as linked to that of Black women, they move from sympathy to genuine empathy. In this context, empathy is like the African proverb “I am because we are.” -AMW, pg. 39

...And there are so many other insights to be offered, some of which you can read at the link above. My only criticism, which she acknowledges, is that all of the 20 black men featured are middle class and fairly highly educated. I look forward to any updated work she does.

For those of you who celebrate Xmas (and also those who don't), I would suggest getting this book at Powell's or Amazon for a black boy or man in your life.

Thoughts? Bless up!

Black Men Unite And Speak Out Against The R.Kelly Verdict.

I just got this in my inbox. I am glad that i did, because when i heard about R. Kelly being acquitted after there being video tape of him having sex with (read: statutory rape) and urinating on a 13 year old young black girl... I was shocked beyond words. So much so that i couldn't even blog about it. It was too glaringly effed up and wrong, on so many levels. I thank these strong, conscious and socially responsible black men for helping me find my voice. At the very least, as a dj, i will not spin any R. Kelly until he comes correct (Its not like I have any of his albums anyway, perhaps a dancehall or hip hop single where he makes a cameo). I stand with the men who wrote this statement, and hope you will too. Bless.

..................................

Statement of Black Men Against
the Exploitation of Black Women

From: Aaron Lloyd • Adisa Banjoko • Alford Young, Jr. • Byron Hurt • Cheo Tyehimba • Davey D. • Dion Chavis • James Peterson • Kevin Powell • Kevin Williams • Lasana Hotep • Loren S. Harris • Lumumba Akinwole-Bandele • Mo Beasley, Jr. • Saddi Khali • Shaun Neblett • Steven G. Fullwood • Thabiti Boone • William Jelani Cobb *

Six years have gone by since we first heard the allegations that R. Kelly had filmed himself having sex with an underage girl. During that time we have seen the videotape being hawked on street corners in Black communities, as if the dehumanization of one of our own was not at stake. We have seen entertainers rally around him and watched his career reach new heights despite the grave possibility that he had molested and urinated on a 13-year old girl. We saw African Americans purchase millions of his records despite the long history of such charges swirling around the singer. Worst of all, we have witnessed the sad vision of Black people cheering his acquittal with a fervor usually reserved for community heroes and shaken our heads at the stunning lack of outrage over the verdict in the broader Black community.

Over these years, justice has been delayed and it has been denied. Perhaps a jury can accept R. Kelly's absurd defense and find "reasonable doubt" despite the fact that the film was shot in his home and featured a man who was identical to him...But there is no doubt about this: some young Black woman was filmed being degraded and exploited by a much older Black man, some daughter of our community was left unprotected, and somewhere another Black woman is being molested, abused or raped and our callous handling of this case will make it that much more difficult for her to come forward and be believed. And each of us is responsible for it.

We have proudly seen the community take to the streets in defense of Black men who have been the victims of police violence or racist attacks, but that righteous outrage only highlights the silence surrounding this verdict.

We believe that our judgment has been clouded by celebrity-worship; we believe that we are a community in crisis and that our addiction to sexism has reached such an extreme that many of us cannot even recognize child molestation when we see it.

We recognize the absolute necessity for Black men to speak in a single, unified voice and state something that should be absolutely obvious: that the women of our community are full human beings, that we cannot and will not tolerate the poisonous hatred of women that has already damaged our families, relationships and culture.

We believe that our daughters are precious and they deserve our protection. We believe that Black men must take responsibility for our contributions to this terrible state of affairs and make an effort to change our lives and our communities.

This is about more than R. Kelly's claims to innocence. It is about our survival as a community. Until we believe that our daughters, sisters, mothers, wives and friends are worthy of justice, until we believe that rape, domestic violence and the casual sexism that permeates our culture are absolutely unacceptable, until we recognize that the first priority of any community is the protection of its young, we will remain in this tragic dead-end.

We ask that you:

• Sign your name if you are a Black male who supports this statement: www.petitiononline.com/rkelly/petition.html
  
  
• Forward this statement to your entire network and ask other Black males to sign as well.
  
  
• Make a personal pledge to never support R. Kelly again in any form or fashion, unless he publicly apologizes for his behavior and gets help for his long-standing sexual conduct, in his private life and in his music.
  
  
• Make a commitment in your own life to never to hit, beat, molest, rape, or exploit Black females in any way and, if you have, to take ownership for your behavior, seek emotional and spiritual help, and, over time, become a voice against all forms of Black female exploitation.
  
  
• Challenge other Black males, no matter their age, class or educational background, or status in life, if they engage in behavior and language that is exploitative and or disrespectful to Black females in any way. If you say nothing, you become just as guilty.
  
  
• Learn to listen to the voices, concerns, needs, criticisms, and challenges of Black females, because they are our equals, and because in listening we will learn a new and different kind of Black manhood.
  

We support the work of scholars, activists and organizations that are helping to redefine Black manhood in healthy ways. Additional resources are listed below.

Books:

• Who's Gonna Take the Weight, Kevin Powell
• New Black Man, Mark Anthony Neal
  
• Deals with the Devil and Other Reasons to Riot, Pearl Cleage
  
• Traps: African American Men on Gender and Sexuality, Rudolph Byrd and Beverly Guy-Sheftall
  

Films:

• I Am A Man: Black Masculinity in America by Byron Hurt
• Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes by Byron Hurt
  
• NO! The Rape Documentary by Aishah Simmons
  

Organizations:

• The 2025 Campaign: www.2025bmb.org
• Men Stopping Violence: www.menstoppingviolence.org
• A Call to Men: www.acalltomen.com

The Roots Of Xicanisma

Poet, Writer and Chicana Activist Ana Castillo breaks down how and why she found it necessary to create Xicanisma.

Creativity, Black Feminist Roots, and Human Revolution

Wow. I highly recommend saving this for the end of your day, kicking back and checking this out. Dr. Akasha Gloria Hull breaks down Black Feminism and Human Revolution through our survival of slavery and the essential ingredients of Politics, Spirituality and Creativity. She gets into theory after reading from her novel in progress, which breathes new perspective into the slave narrative; she shares a vignette of a young black woman enjoying her body as her own. Here is one of my favorite quotes from this clip:

Politics. Spirituality. And Creativity. Any recipe for truly effective social transformation, and human revolution, needs to include these three ingredients. Not practiced separately, but intricately interwoven. - Dr. Akasha Gloria Hull

I will have to give her credit in the novel i am writing, i am truly inspired, and consider myself schooled! Enjoy.