Jay Smooth: A Beginner's Guide To "No Homo"

I found this great clip on postbourgie via illdoctrine. It really breaks down the origins and psychology behind the hip hop coined phrase "no homo", which is used by hetero men to qualify that their words shouldn't be taken as "being gay". ie, "man, that was smooth how you just slid the ball up there, no homo." This really defines homophobia for me, when straight folks are needing to re-assert their heterosexuality again and again, for fear (phobia) that they may be seen as gay (homo). Someone once defined homophobia to me in literal etymological translation: homo(same)phobia(fear). Fear that you are the same.

In Jamaica, there is definitely a similar dynamic, maybe there is a new phrase by now, but 2 years ago the qualifier was "a nuh lean talk". translation: I am not making lean talk/talk that leans. I am making straight talk. Its pretty amazing, and a little sad to sit in a group of men and hear this over and over, this self-policing. Really feels stressful, like a lot of energy has to go into this constant self monitoring. So basically, though of course LGBT folks have an inordinately rougher time from homophobia and heterosexist oppression, in my opinion hetero folks also suffer psychologically from homophobia. In every model of oppression, i think it is safe to say that both the oppressor and the oppressed lose some humanity in the process.

Thots?

The Men's Story Project = Incredible

Wow. Something called The Men's Story Project happened yesterday people. Something that needed to happen and needs to keep happening. Something healing, transformative, and also hugely triggering for a lot of people. Such is way of transformation....

We saw men talk about their legacies of inflicting (or receiving) violence, how they learned to do that in the context of manhood, how they came to a place of no longer being violent, and what it took. We saw a man come out on stage for the first time as HIV+, and share a heartwrenching story about how his parents have since completely abandoned him. We watched this man share his struggle, tears welling up, voice faltering, as he still proclaimed himself as an emotional survivor, making the best out of life. He had a tearful standing ovation before he was even finished. We also heard a letter from a transman to his folks, folks still trying to understand him. We saw amazing dance that portrayed aspects of black masculinity and survival in this country. We saw a man with cerebral palsy fiercely reclaim his sexuality and beauty in lieu of being invisiblized by so much of society. Another man dealing with the inevitability of having a testicle removed, which mixed humor with vulnerability in a masterful way. We saw more whimsical pieces, dealing with men's no-eye contact urinal rituals, pieces that dealt with hetero men not feeling able to be affectionate and loving to each other, pieces that dealt with the messages of fathers, some extremely toxic, some good. Stories of women being the formative and positive role models when dads weren't around. Tales of struggling with sexuality, tales of spiritual awakenings, and surviving prison. Tales of reclaiming an emotional life, tales of over coming self-hatred for being male, tales of advocating for other boys so that men can be non-violent, loving men... and testimony that despite the hype and images in the media, that black men are loving and compassionate.

And more, much more. (**YouTube updates of the show coming to this blog soon!)

At the end, there was a long thunderous standing ovation, tearstained cheeks, shouts from the audience.

The question and answer period after the performance was charged. People were intensely moved, and people were also intensely triggered. One woman commented that stories of contributions of women felt absent to her (besides being targets of violence or romantic partners) especially in comparison to The Vagina Monologues where women seemed to evoke male influences all the time. Another woman felt that though she appreciated that men were telling these vulnerable stories around how they have been damaged by patriarchy, that the missing piece for her was the privilege that men have to be in these positions in the first place.
And there were other comments asking about violence, including how men could reconcile loving violent fathers... and one disabled woman who experienced the noise level of the music as violence, which was an intense moment. I saw one of the participants get into a open hearted conversation with her afterwards asking what can be done to have the music "NOT be violent."

My feelings about the first two criticisms was that the legacy of fathers is a huge component around how we reproduce patriarchy. As is the reinforcement of fellow men to "man up". It was powerful for me to hear men admit to when they used to hit women. I have never personally known men who hit women. I can see how that can be triggering for women to hear, on many levels, including the representation that women would have in these stories. If anything, perhaps this was a glimpse into the boys club of power that a lot of us live in, shared with vulnerability and awareness. Around the second comment, Josie Lehrer, the person who conceived the project, introduced the show as being a healing process that deals with the effects of patriarchy and imbalances of power. For me, most of the men's stories were testimonies around the toxicity that comes with our privilege, and a lot were also rays of hope around how to transcend the reproduction of these patriarchal behaviors. I am hoping that most people didn't leave this performance thinking this was about men complaining and being oblivious to the power granted us by society. But the comments were duly noted, and perhaps will be formative in the next show.... which i hope to be in this time!

I left La Peña with my mind twirling. It was an intense show. Possibly one of the most impactful shows i have seen in years. It also left me thinking about gender and organizing men with progressive projects. This might just be a personal thing... but i am finding it interesting that i had zero response from other men to do the Walk Against Rape with me, but Josie, an awesome woman, was hugely successful in getting this already historical project going. I want emphasize that this isn't to detract from Josie, i am so thankful for her doing this. I am just looking at a curious dynamic. Of course, men start projects all the time, i know this is just a reflection of my experience. But perhaps it takes someone who is receiving the oppression to really have the solutions. For example, the National White Privilege Conference was founded by Eddie Moore Jr., a black man.

In the meantime, I am glad that this new expression exists. Not men's stories in the patriarchal canon of his-stories, but a breaking of silence around codes we are expected to maintain in order to keep the status quo. Hetero men being able to look at each other and say "i love you". Men transforming their experiences with violence and being a model for youth so that new generations don't replicate the oppression. I am glad i listened to myself and stepped down from performing this time, but i am so looking forward to making a contribution in the future, and i thank Josie and all the men for bringing the realness.

Important Bay Area Events: Men's Story Project, 2008 Black LGBT Film Festival, Prisons.

A lot of good and important stuff is about to go down Bay Area! Here's a brief rundown:

~Starting Today: Oakland Black LGBT Film Festival, @ Parkway Theater
~This Sunday, August 17th: The Men's Story Project, @ La Peña, 7:30
~Friday & Sat, August 22 & 23rd: Shanique S. Scott's Prisons, @ La Peña, 8pm

Mark your calendars and at least peep one people! I know i am going to the Men's Story Project to see my fellow mens get up and perform truths around our experiences, like growing up conditioned in patriarchy, how that hurts us and others, and also stories of vulnerability, strength, sexuality, triumph over obstacles, and much more. I was actually all set to perform in it as well, but had to pull out for personal reasons... but i am still gonna be in the house! I definitely wanna also catch at least one of the films in the Oakland Black LGBT Festival, would love to see "U People", especially since i've been trying to see that for a minit. They say this is the only (or longest running?) Black LGBTQ Film Festival. And last but not least, Shanique S. Scott is back again with her critically acclaimed one woman show at La Peña, Prisons. I have heard earth shattering things about this autobiographical play of a black woman growing up in the Bronx and dealing with very serious choices and issues of struggle and survival- and i have also been tryin to see this for a minute! I need to stop playing around and get some tickets. Support Oakland art & artists y'all! Details at the hyperlinks above. Bless

Ancestral Roles Of Two-Spirit People In Africa

I came across this very interesting clip on the Jamaica Land We LGBT blog. It deals with the idea of LGBTQ folks being Two-Spirit, and hetero-folks being One-Spirit. Its deep!! I just came back from Hawai'i a couple weeks ago, where i was told that the keepers of the sacred dances tend to be mahu... which translates into Two-Spirit. And Two-Spirit is also a Native American term. In the Santeria and Yoruba communities, I see surviving African tradition and dances also kept alive by many LGBTQ/Two-Spirit people. IN FACT, in Jamaica, there is only ONE man who is known to be not-straight, and still is a respected elder by all. Some may call him "Sexy Rexy", but to most, he is The Honorable Rex Nettleford... who among many deeds is majorly responsible for keeping traditional sacred dances alive in Jamaica. I remember my dad introducing me to him when i was a young pre-teen in Jamaica... and simultaneously being in awe, and also being all too aware in my young culturally homophobic mind that i was shaking hands with someone gay. Woy! Come to think of it, I think he is the first essentially out queer person I ever met, though I myself have never heard him own it... it just seems to be island knowledge that is accepted.

In the clip, the commentary on traditional Two-Spirit roles as shamans, priests, "gatekeepers" between earth and the divine realms in comparison to One-Spirit roles of making sure the earthly realm is taken care of (reproduction, making sure families prosper, traditional "hunter gatherer" gender roles, etc) make a lot of sense to me. Though of course, hetero-folks can also be very spiritually connected priests and shamans, and queer folks can also reproduce, have families, and thrive in traditional gendered roles. It however makes me wonder if a part of our colonial experience was the colonizer seeing that LGBTQ folks had roles as powerful medicine people, so it is possible that the demonization of queer folks came in strategic tandem with the demonization of our indigenous ways?

The "gatekeeper" term strikes me personally because the Orisha that i am aligned with in Yoruba tradition is Eshu, the Master Of The Crossroads, The Divine Communicator Between The Earth And The Divine, He Who Teaches Through Tricks... The Gatekeeper. It makes me wonder if I am a child of Eshu because I do not inhabit a masculinity that is common to many hetero black men. The journey continues....

Young Boy Banned From Kindergarten For Being Native?

Arg. A frustrating story to start the week with, but at least there is action that one can take after reading this.

As reported by Jessica Yee on Racialiscious (and originally on Shameless), the superintendent at the Houston based Needville District School made a ruling that forbade 5 year old Apache Adriel Arocha from attending kindergarten. Why? Because he has long hair. In one foul sweep, superintendent Curtis Rhodes has enacted the double-whammy injustice of reproducing racist neo-colonialism AND gender conformist crap. Oh but there is more, as Jessica writes:

The kicker though is that the school board is willing to make exceptions on religious or other “proven” moral grounds, but doesn’t think that being Native American cuts it.

Even after Adriel’s father Kenny submitted a DNA sample of his blood and explained the long history of why many of us do not cut our hair until a family member dies, he received this response from superintendent Curtis Rhodes:

“To make exceptions, you have to be provided evidence of something, and to this point, I don’t feel I’ve been provided evidence to make an exception.”

Whatever. This is an absolutely ridiculous, gross misuse of power. Its a good thing that we can simply contact Curtis Rhodes to tell him what a shameful racist and gender-conformist power-tripping bully he is being, eh? Dial 0 for the district operator once you call.

Jessica Yee continues to write from a Native perspective here.

Mark Your Calendars! Men's Story Project @ La Peña, August 17th.

Hey Bay Area, its almost here y'all! The first installment of the Men's Story Project. I am proud to say that I was actually selected to perform in this project, but it looks like i need to wait for the next one to roll around, because I gotta WHOLE HEAP of personal vibes going on that are taking up emotional space, and self-care dictates that I not take this time to go up on stage and be all vulnerable. That said, I encourage people to support this project, I saw some of the performances in progress, and... WOW. Men are bringing the REALNESS. Speaking truth. Being vulnerable. Being strong. Being funny. Being... men.

Josie Lehrer, the awesome person who conceived and curated the project describes:

The Men's Story Project (MSP) is a new public performance and community discussion project examining social ideas about masculinity, using the arts as a medium for community-building and social change. It aims to give voice to men's stories that are less often heard; to break silences on issues including sexism, racism, heterosexism, ableism and violence – and ways in which these interplay with norms around masculinity; to celebrate men’s beauty and strength; and to stimulate active discussion on what being a man can be all about. The ultimate goal of this replicable project is to help expand the presence of genuine personal expression, open dialogue, peace, and social justice in communities. The project is getting started in the San Francisco Bay Area.

...In tha East Bay to be specific! EAST BAY! EAST BAY! ok, lemme calm down... but did you ever notice that East Bay is pig latin for beast? I digress. So yes, mark dem calendars, and see you in the house! Also peep the website for more info, and a picture of our smiley faces. Bless up

http://www.mensstoryproject.org/

.

Bob Marley's "Kinky Reggae": A Coded Song Preaching Tolerance For Homosexuality And Jamaican Sexual Taboos?

This might be a challenging post for some Jamaicans and Bob Marley fans! Good :)

But if you are "challenged", please write a comment-- and tell me what you think Bob is singing about!

Ive talked about this song to friends for years, and how it seems to be dealing with homosexuality and cunnilingus (another Jamaican taboo, sigh... maybe that is another post to deal with this issue! It is definitely a product of Jamaican patriarchy though, clear in the language... songs tell men not to "bow" and advises us to keep our "heads high", because i guess men should not bow to women. I suspect that it may also have something to do with not teaching "your woman" to enjoy "lesbian sex"). For years I sung along to this song, practically thinking it was just a silly, almost nonsensical song really. Then I really listened to the words:

Kinky Reggae by Bob Marley

I went downtown
I saw Miss Brown
She had brown sugar
All over her booga-wooga.

I think I might join the fun
But I had to hit and run.
See I just can't settle down
In a kinky part of town.

Ride on;
Don't you know I've got to ride on.
Ride on; see I just can't settle down.
Oh, I'm a leavin' town.

Kinky reggae
Kinky reggae, now!
Kinky reggae; all I've got to say,
kinky reggae, now!
Kinky reggae, oh baby!
Kinky reggae, now!
It's gonna be kinky reggae.
Kinky reggae, now!
An' I would say: ride on, ride on, ride on
Oh, ride on, baby!
Ride on, ride on.

I went down to Piccadilly Circus
Down there I saw Marcus:
He had a candy tar
All over his chocolate bar.

I think I might join the fun,
But I had to hit and run.
See I just can't settle down
In a kinky, kinky part of town.

Nice one; that's what they say,
But I'm leavin' you today.
Oh, darlin', please don't play
Mama say - mama say.

Kinky reggae
Kinky reggae, now!
Take it or leave it!
Kinky reggae
Believe it!
Kinky reggae, now!

Kinky, kinky, kinky as kinky can be ! Reggae! Eh!

See what i mean? It looks like Bob put a message out there on these subjects the only way he could so it could be assimilated by a mainstream Jamaican audience, as a cryptic allegory. I remember wondering if Bob was operating from a different usuage of the word "kinky" that would have him declare that this song was "kinky, kinky, kinky as kinky can be", because the song seemed extremely tame sexually. But then, upon a second look, it would seem this really is some Kinky Reggae!

Miss Brown has "brown sugar all over her booga-wooga" is clearly a code for being invited to go down on a woman. Some Jamaicans may argue that "boogas" is our slang for sneakers, which is true. But this is booga-wooga thang... think its something else people. Besides, lets remember, the name of the song is "Kinky Reggae"! Not sure Bob was trying to take this to shoe fetishism...

In the song, Bob also muses "i think i might join the fun, but i had to hit and run, see i just can't settle down in a kinky part of town." What is great about this is that Bob actually contemplates accepting the invitation! He has an open mind on the issue. He just knows for himself where the boundaries of his preferences lie. 

Ok. Here is the arguably more controversial stanza! Here, Marcus approaches Bob with "candy tar all over his chocolate bar." Woy! Now, this is controversial for multiple reasons. Not only because it is a coded invitation for Bob to perform fellatio, but because, of ALL names to use... Marcus?? Bob, yu well kinky fi true. Anyway, AGAIN Bob actually takes a moment to contemplate accepting the invitation, he doesn't fly off the handle, he calmly mulls it over, which is something a lot of us hetero men DO NOT DO. So much of male hetero posturing is around reflexively reacting with disapproval to male homoerotic situations without actually thinking about it in a deep way. This is where the root of the word homophobia really comes to light. Fear That You Are The Same. Many hetero men cannot tolerate really thinking about these issues for fear of their own sexuality. This fear is then acted out and projected onto queer folks, some of whom may actually have more fully engaged themselves in the quest for knowing oneself. More so than a person who cannot even honestly dialogue about the spectrum of sexuality without starting to feel angry. 

Anyways, after some open minded contemplation ("think i might join the fun") Bob again decides that it is not his thing. No violent reaction, just "ride on."

Bob continues, saying "mama say, mama say", which gives testament to the passing on of the conditioning around these issues, which he acknowledges in himself. He concludes with "Take it or leave it! Believe it!" Which is the most beautiful message in the song. An acknowledgment that this "kinkiness" is not for everyone. An invitation to really allow yourself to contemplate where you stand, and if it is for you, take it. If it is not for you, leave it. And leave others alone who choose it. And you best Believe It!

"Take it or leave it" makes so much sense to me in terms of dealing with sexuality, and also as a slogan directed towards actively homophobic people who may be abusive to queer folks. It reminds me of a hilarious bumper sticker I saw that read: "Don't like gay folks? Then don't f**k any!!" That is so perfect. The preoccupation of supposedly hetero folks with what queer folks are doing is a suspect activity. It is bordering on fetishization.

My dad, rest his soul, always maintained that he never understood this preoccupation, this energetic overcompensation. Why care so much about what other people are doing, that has nothing to do with you? I am proud to say that after my dad passed, I found out that he had intervened in a gay bashing in downtown Kingston sometime in his 20's. My sister related it to me as he told her; he apparently came upon a scene with a man getting beaten. My dad, always with a heart that loathed injustice and loved building Jamaican community, shouted for them to stop. The men said in not too kind words that the man was gay. My dad maintained that this was a stupid reason to hurt a human being, and somehow broke up the bashing. I am proud that my dad, a man born in rural Jamaica (Manchester) and lived most of his life in Kingston, was somehow able to discard years of cultural taboos and see things in terms of justice and humanity. Giving thanks for that dad. Nuff love and respect.


If you know some yardie people, beg yu fowad dis to dem! I am well curious as to what my fellow Jamaicans have to say about this one! Gonna close out with a video of Bob Marley and the Wailers performing "Kinky Reggae" with a rather eccentric variety show host :) Enjoy! As for me, riding on, riding on....

Thomas Glave Creates A Pioneering Anthology of Gay Writings From The Caribbean.

Thomas Glave, an activist, writer, and gay man of Jamaican descent has fulfilled a dream that has been in the making for 5 and half years. The dream? To compile the invisibilized voices of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered folks from around the Caribbean. Voices that he says have also long been "separated by language and the sea". The book Our Caribbean: A Gathering Of Lesbian And Gay Writing From The Antilles is the actualization of that dream. It is the first book of its kind, and includes the works of 37 writers from 14 Caribbean countries, and some of the entries are published here in english for the first time. It includes the works of Audre Lourde, Andrew Salkey, Makeda Silvera, Helen Klonaris, Achy Obejas and many more including works from Thomas Glave himself. The literary works in here are as varied in style as they are in perspective, from journalistic academic essays, to poetry, to bittersweet humorous narratives and more. The anthology embodies a "wild salad of all the ways of being" as Thomas Glave describes it in his NPR interview. There are many perspectives, but many entries also share a thread of commonality around struggles with family, community, Christianity, and navigating love and desire against the tidal wave of invalidating cultural taboos.

On the topic of religion and sexuality, Thomas Glave has called himself a "living breathing paradox: A Rasta Battyman." This was in an interview in the premiere Jamaican newspaper too, The Daily Gleaner. And i gotta say, as a Jamaican man, that phrase falls on my ears as a cultural impossibility! Nuff props to him for walking that path and holding the complexity. Though not as culturally visceral for me on a personal level, this paradox reminds me of a conversation I had with my friend and creative collaborator, the super talented and wonderful Meshell Ndegeocello. With a smile she spoke about her journey as a tattooed, queer Muslim. She told me that she expressed this personal navigation in her mostly instrumental album, which is subtitled "The Dance Of The Infidel", since she is considered an infidel on many levels in the faith that she belongs to. Glave's book also documents similar journeys of being a member of a religion that has moral stances from thousands of years ago that condemn same-sex love.

So far, i have found some positive responses in Jamaican blogs that cover this book, including BonitaJamaica, Geoffrey Philip's Blogspot, and i was pleased to find a review in ForeWord Magazine that focuses on the piece contributed by my Bahamian friend Helen Klonaris, "Independence Day Letter." Go Helen! Also check out her blog, she is a great writer.

It is definitely worth noting that Thomas Glave is a co-founder of J-FLAG, the sole Jamaican LGBT advocacy group. They are an important resource that among other functions, essentially operates as an underground railroad for queer Jamaicans. The straight/gay alliance group I belong to (and Helen Klonaris as well!) Love Liberation Collective has had events where we do book drives and raise funds for JFLAG. Thomas Glave, in accordance with his activist work, recently issued a statement that was directed towards Prime Minister Bruce Golding, who as i recently blogged, stated that he would never have a homosexual in his cabinet. Glave's response:

As a gay man of Jamaican background I am appalled and outraged by the Prime Minister’s having said only three days ago on BBC-TV that homosexuals will not have any place in his Cabinet and, implicitly, by extension, in Jamaica. I guess this means that there will never be any room in Mr Golding’s Cabinet for me and for the many, many other men and women in Jamaica who are homosexual. And so I now feel moved to say directly to Mr Golding that it is exactly this kind of bigotry and narrow-mindedness that Jamaica does not need any more of, and that you, Mr Golding, should be ashamed of yourself for providing such an example of how not to lead Jamaica into the future. And so, Mr Golding, think about how much you are not helping Jamaica the next time you decide to stand up and say that only some Jamaicans – heterosexuals, in this case – have the right to live in their country as full citizens with full human rights, while others – homosexuals – do not. That is not democracy. That is not humane leadership. That is simply the stupidity and cruelty of bigotry.

Woy! Ah some real talk dat... I wonder if we will ever get a response.... you know i will blog it if THAT happens!

In closing, I wanted to post a quote from the book that I think essentializes the struggle that us Jamaicans have at this point around homophobia in our culture. Because impositions from other countries on Jamaica (other countries with their own institutionalized heterosexism and cultural paradigms) without dialogue or understanding of Jamaica and Jamaicans aren't going to create change in Jamaica. I think that can cause more harm than good. I would more so see change happening from within, with assistance from outside that is specifically asked for from queer Jamaicans. Any ally to queer Jamaicans can't run tings, you know? But first, on the internal tip, i believe this is our task at hand:

Even as we seek to restore "indigenous knowledge" systems, we must simultaneously seek to sharpen an "indigenous" criticism.
- Charles Carnegie, anthropologist. pg. 80

John McCain Vows To Overturn Roe Vs. Wade If Elected

Ok... sorry to be alarmist, but... its clinch time people! McCain is promising to flex his white (house) male privilege muscle and decide what women should do with their bodies. He has a statement on his website where he shares the steps he will take to make abortion illegal, except in cases of rape, incest, or if the woman might die from childbirth. His answer is adoption. He has even led by example and adopted a child from Bangladesh (please god let that have been the only white child in the orphanage, its gonna be rough enough). For some reason, the fact that orphans in US orphanages are currently growing out of adoptable age and leaving without ever having had a permanent home... yeah. The Angry Black Woman blogs about this and some of the other reasons why McCain is not the best person to vote for.

If you are reading this, probably you are already on point. But we need to TALK to disgruntled Clinton fans about solidarity here. If you were pro-Clinton, I understand that you are disappointed. Angry. And a host of other feelings. I would even say, allow yourself to feel these feelings thoroughly. Because we are going to need you on Election Day. We are going to need you to (yes) vote for Obama. I mean, not even Bush made a statement about planning to illegalize abortion. Sure, he appointed conservative judges, but so far, no re-plunge into medieval policies around reproductive rights.

Don't make a decision now, just look at McCain's site, and think about it. Promise?

Independence? Freedom? Liberation? Born In Flames!

I was on my way to a Farce Of July barbecue and was thinking, what can I put out there today that can truly speak to freedom and independence? So many of us could not vote, were enslaved, weren't allowed to marry (and some of us STILL aren't allowed to marry) at the time when we celebrate the "independence" of this country. Its always good to have time off with friends and family, but it can also feel at least a little weird, celebrating this holiday.

I offer an activity to celebrate today-- watch Lizzie Borden's "Born In Flames!" (1983) This is the classic, revolutionary, feminist, speculative fiction film that unites the Black Power/Black Feminist Movement, Riot Grrls, and the Queer Liberation movement in an unprecedented alliance for the liberation of women. It is done in a DIY documentary style that has non-linear 70's psychedelic elements as well. The conclusion is chillingly prophetic too. Check it out if you haven't peeped it! I know i am due to see it again, gonna go buy a copy.

I'll leave you with a clip of the movie (one of my alma maters, Lehman College gets a big up! Boogie Down Bronx in the house!). Maximum respect to all survivors of oppression and your ancestors. None of us are free til all of us are free. Ashé.

The Loud Silence Of (White, 2nd Wave) Feminists

So the question persists... where are the voices of the outraged white feminists who were so vocal when Hilary Clinton was dealing with sexism in the campaign, now that Michelle Obama is being targeted? This subject is covered with sharp wit on The Angry Black Woman blog, along with commentary around other racist/sexist attacks black women usually get in the media. I quote:

It’s hard not to notice that there’s not nearly as much commentary about this in the feminist blogosphere as I saw when there were sexist media attacks against Hillary Clinton. Talk about angry black women — what those Fox pseudopundits really ought to be afraid of is angry white women. They’re kickass, man. I mean, there was just so much furor out there — and rightly so — over the sexism heaped upon Clinton. All the big names of feminism and politics — Steinem, Ferraro, Jong, and more. All women who speak softly and carry big no-phallic-pun-intended-sticks. I’m sure these same women are going to come out guns blazing now that Michelle is getting the same ugly treatment. It’s still sexism, right? Even if it’s compounded by racism. Sexism’s still sexism.

Right? Right? So the defense should begin any minute now. Right?

I was also glad to see this subject covered in The Washington Post, where i gleaned some of the title of this post. Mary C. Curtis goes on to say:

I've long been frustrated, as a black woman and a feminist, with our national conversation. I didn't hear the cause speaking up for women of color or for women who have always worked in blue-collar or service jobs. Choice was not their issue.

The woman who employed my educated mother to clean her house never quite saw her as a sister in the struggle for equality.

Still, I cheered Steinem when she spoke at my college. Her message could have been more inclusive, but it was a start.

I'd like a little of that solidarity back now, not suspicion because someone of my race defeated someone of our sex.

For me, this is an issue of racism, more than telling pro-Clinton female feminists how to be feminists. And it really glares of racism. Quite shamefully. Sure, people are disappointed about their candidate losing. But in the meantime, the history books/blogs will tell of iconic feminists who relaxed into their whiteness and looked the other way when a prominent, strong black woman was being maligned by sexist and racist attacks. For real.

Black Men Unite And Speak Out Against The R.Kelly Verdict.

I just got this in my inbox. I am glad that i did, because when i heard about R. Kelly being acquitted after there being video tape of him having sex with (read: statutory rape) and urinating on a 13 year old young black girl... I was shocked beyond words. So much so that i couldn't even blog about it. It was too glaringly effed up and wrong, on so many levels. I thank these strong, conscious and socially responsible black men for helping me find my voice. At the very least, as a dj, i will not spin any R. Kelly until he comes correct (Its not like I have any of his albums anyway, perhaps a dancehall or hip hop single where he makes a cameo). I stand with the men who wrote this statement, and hope you will too. Bless.

..................................

Statement of Black Men Against
the Exploitation of Black Women

From: Aaron Lloyd • Adisa Banjoko • Alford Young, Jr. • Byron Hurt • Cheo Tyehimba • Davey D. • Dion Chavis • James Peterson • Kevin Powell • Kevin Williams • Lasana Hotep • Loren S. Harris • Lumumba Akinwole-Bandele • Mo Beasley, Jr. • Saddi Khali • Shaun Neblett • Steven G. Fullwood • Thabiti Boone • William Jelani Cobb *

Six years have gone by since we first heard the allegations that R. Kelly had filmed himself having sex with an underage girl. During that time we have seen the videotape being hawked on street corners in Black communities, as if the dehumanization of one of our own was not at stake. We have seen entertainers rally around him and watched his career reach new heights despite the grave possibility that he had molested and urinated on a 13-year old girl. We saw African Americans purchase millions of his records despite the long history of such charges swirling around the singer. Worst of all, we have witnessed the sad vision of Black people cheering his acquittal with a fervor usually reserved for community heroes and shaken our heads at the stunning lack of outrage over the verdict in the broader Black community.

Over these years, justice has been delayed and it has been denied. Perhaps a jury can accept R. Kelly's absurd defense and find "reasonable doubt" despite the fact that the film was shot in his home and featured a man who was identical to him...But there is no doubt about this: some young Black woman was filmed being degraded and exploited by a much older Black man, some daughter of our community was left unprotected, and somewhere another Black woman is being molested, abused or raped and our callous handling of this case will make it that much more difficult for her to come forward and be believed. And each of us is responsible for it.

We have proudly seen the community take to the streets in defense of Black men who have been the victims of police violence or racist attacks, but that righteous outrage only highlights the silence surrounding this verdict.

We believe that our judgment has been clouded by celebrity-worship; we believe that we are a community in crisis and that our addiction to sexism has reached such an extreme that many of us cannot even recognize child molestation when we see it.

We recognize the absolute necessity for Black men to speak in a single, unified voice and state something that should be absolutely obvious: that the women of our community are full human beings, that we cannot and will not tolerate the poisonous hatred of women that has already damaged our families, relationships and culture.

We believe that our daughters are precious and they deserve our protection. We believe that Black men must take responsibility for our contributions to this terrible state of affairs and make an effort to change our lives and our communities.

This is about more than R. Kelly's claims to innocence. It is about our survival as a community. Until we believe that our daughters, sisters, mothers, wives and friends are worthy of justice, until we believe that rape, domestic violence and the casual sexism that permeates our culture are absolutely unacceptable, until we recognize that the first priority of any community is the protection of its young, we will remain in this tragic dead-end.

We ask that you:

• Sign your name if you are a Black male who supports this statement: www.petitiononline.com/rkelly/petition.html
  
  
• Forward this statement to your entire network and ask other Black males to sign as well.
  
  
• Make a personal pledge to never support R. Kelly again in any form or fashion, unless he publicly apologizes for his behavior and gets help for his long-standing sexual conduct, in his private life and in his music.
  
  
• Make a commitment in your own life to never to hit, beat, molest, rape, or exploit Black females in any way and, if you have, to take ownership for your behavior, seek emotional and spiritual help, and, over time, become a voice against all forms of Black female exploitation.
  
  
• Challenge other Black males, no matter their age, class or educational background, or status in life, if they engage in behavior and language that is exploitative and or disrespectful to Black females in any way. If you say nothing, you become just as guilty.
  
  
• Learn to listen to the voices, concerns, needs, criticisms, and challenges of Black females, because they are our equals, and because in listening we will learn a new and different kind of Black manhood.
  

We support the work of scholars, activists and organizations that are helping to redefine Black manhood in healthy ways. Additional resources are listed below.

Books:

• Who's Gonna Take the Weight, Kevin Powell
• New Black Man, Mark Anthony Neal
  
• Deals with the Devil and Other Reasons to Riot, Pearl Cleage
  
• Traps: African American Men on Gender and Sexuality, Rudolph Byrd and Beverly Guy-Sheftall
  

Films:

• I Am A Man: Black Masculinity in America by Byron Hurt
• Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes by Byron Hurt
  
• NO! The Rape Documentary by Aishah Simmons
  

Organizations:

• The 2025 Campaign: www.2025bmb.org
• Men Stopping Violence: www.menstoppingviolence.org
• A Call to Men: www.acalltomen.com

Hiding In Hip Hop: A New Book On Down Low In Hip Hop, And Some Thoughts On Parallels In Dancehall.

Felicia Pride writes a commentary and review of this new book on Black Voices. "Hiding In Hip Hop" is written by Terrance Dean, a black man in the music industry who battled with living two lives in hip hop culture. He goes on to say:

It was important for me to continue my double life. One for my career and the other for myself--the real me. Only I didn't know who the real me was. I was so accustomed to living in multiple worlds I often confused myself. As a down low man, I had to make sure people saw me as a heterosexual man; they had to see me with women...Nothing about me could be associated with the gay lifestyle.

From the perspective of a brotha in the Down Low scene in hip hop, he continues to reference the struggles of popular hip hop & r&b stars without naming them. In her article, Felicia Pride talks about the "tell-some" book:

In Hiding in Hip Hop, Dean writes of tight-knit communities of down low men in both Hollywood and the music industry. He writes of thugged out rappers with girlfriends and wives who sneak around to sleep with other men. He writes of down low ministers and in-the-closet R&B singers... He writes of a world where fear, pain, shame, and a lack of self-love are the dominant emotions. He paints a world where masculinity is narrowly-defined, heterosexuality is the only option, and down low men spew hatred toward homosexuals because they hate themselves.

Wow. Intense. What is also intense are the comments that Felicia Pride gets in response to her review. There definitely seems to be more vilifying of the men in DL culture than criticism of a larger culture that gives few options for people to just live their lives. I am not endorsing anyone cheating on their wives/partners in order to have down low interactions, I just think that some of the pain that Terrance Dean seems to convey should be taken into account... As a hetero man, I myself wonder what it would be like if I lived in bizarro switcheroo-change-o land, and had to keep up appearances to be "a gay man" but really want to date women, and have to see them on the down low. If you are also a straight man, and reading that made you cringe... hold on to that feeling. Especially if you are not able to understand why men would go on the down low. Empathy to the human condition is essential for us all to make it y'all...

I hope this book starts more conversation on homophobia in our communities than spark witch hunts. I myself am waiting for some dancehall version of this book to drop! That would be amazing. I think the author might be exiled from yard tho! But for reals, like it says in the last line from Felicia Pride's quote about down low gay men "spewing hatred against homosexuals"... I suspect that a similar connection may be happening in Jamaica, and that it is very possible that dancehall artists who are most vociferous with anti-gay lyrics may actually be expressing self-protection/self-hatred around their queerness and masculinity. Another yardie friend of mine and I were talking about a lyric by a dancehall artist that sez: "bad man nuh wear g-string". Ok. sooo... i guess the lesson trying to be conveyed here is that real tough guys don't and shouldn't wear g-string panties. The thing is... this artist had to actually conjure up this image in order to write this lyric...! Where did this image of guys in g-strings come from? Not saying that this lyric is evidence that the artist is gay, but i consider it a curious example of the extent that some Jamaican men will go to in order to showcase their heterosexuality- paradoxically evoking homoerotic images in the process! But where this leaves a lot of men in Jamaica... not only down low men have to keep up appearances of straightness, but some hetero men also have to keep up the exhausting job of re-proving their heterosexuality and a certain brand of masculinity.

What makes things even more headspinning is that the rude bway style (aka the thug steez) includes aesthetics that may be construed as queer associated in European and North American cultures. Meticulously plucked eyebrows, Vaseline on the lips to make them shiny, see through mesh/net shirts... i could go on. Is it possible that down low men in Jamaican culture have become such powerful icons of hyper-masculine heterosexuality that there is now safety to be less gender conformist in appearance? Or is masculinity in Jamaica something so complex that it escapes definition?

The labyrinthine journey to one love continues...

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also peep Keith Harris' essay on the down low phenomenon, he is a gay black man who very much calls for gay black men to step back up into a visible representation of black masculinity. This is one of the essays featured on BeyondMasculinity.com.

Reality Check: Shirley Chisholm, The First Black Woman To Run For President.

Thank You Racialiscious! Sylvia/M reminds us that before there was Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton, Shirley Chisholm (November 20, 1924 - January 3rd, 2005) blazed the trail for black folks and women. She was the first African-American woman (Caribbean-American woman really, her dad was from British Guiana, and mom from Barbados! We run tings you know...) elected to Congress, and the first black woman to be a major party candidate for the Presidency of the United States (DNC, 1972). She was a fierce orator and advocate for women's rights, as well as for the human rights for black folks, Latino/Chicano immigrants, and Native Americans. She was also an open critic of the Nixon administration during the Vietnam War. And one of her quotes?

I am, was, and always will be a catalyst for change.

Sounds like a good slogan :) She has some other great quotes, i found this one to be of particular interest, a valuable perspective to be given from someone in this unique position:

Of my two "handicaps" being female put more obstacles in my path than being black.

WOW. Heard that? It gets even more deep in the biographical documentary that bears the name of her campaign slogan, "Chisholm '72 : Unbought And Unbossed" (My friend B schooled me and lent me the dvd back in the day :) where one can see how the male-dominated Black Congressional Caucus refused to support/endorse her, and would tend to think her too outspoken. Y'all aren't going down in history as heroes guys.... not on this matter anyway...

...reminds me of the white feminist women declaring they are going to vote for McCain or stay home on election day just to make sure that Obama doesn't win... you know, McCain, the guy who referred to his wife with the c-word, and opposes reproductive freedom rights and stuff. Interesting that some feminists may forget to support us having the first black First Lady too. For me, this sounds like more of an issue around whiteness than around gender politics. Tim Wise writes an excellent open letter/essay on the subject called "Your Whiteness Is Showing."

In closing, i thought it would be good to post a clip of the woman who should not be forgotten, the trailblazer, Shirley Chisholm. Rest In Peace And Power!

Understanding Boys, Understanding Masculinity

I found an old feature from a 1987 issue of The New Internationalist. Its somewhat universalizing, but i definitely appreciate the places that they went to with the pressures and issues boys grow up with, and how that feeds into adult masculinities. I also like the quaint 80's illustration style, though it would have been nice to have a teeny bit more ethnic inclusivity :)

Reading this feature has me nodding my head, I remember the pressures to excel in sports, to have sex, dealing with bullies and more. Some of these issues I will actually be performing in the upcoming event, The Men's Story Project. Stay tuned for more, have a great week...

(* also, its probably worth mentioning the Dads And Daughters link here again, if this post intrigues you)

Beyond Masculinity: Essays By Queer Men On Gender & Politics

Samhita put up a post at Feministing that links to this free, interactive, and sleek online anthology. It looks pretty amazing, I plan to comment more after some reading. Be sure to peep BeyondMasculinity.com.

Ellen Degeneres and John McCain on Gay Marriage

For those of you who haven't seen this yet! What was McCain thinking going on this show? He can't even look her in the eyes too much...

Not So Nice Outside: Street Harassment Is The Rage This Season.

I’ve been wondering why the subject of cat-calling/street harassment has been on the uptick on several feminist/progressive blogs, and then i saw Jessica Hagy’s on point, simultaneously cute and groan-worthy graph. June is here! And though that brings a lot of us warm feelings (i’m a summer baby myself), it seems that there is also a downside to summertime that my male privilege does not expose me to.
It seems clear to me and most of my progressive fam that street harassment is a form of male entitlement to be in the space of a woman (or girl! i have read so many blogs about women getting really nasty catcalls from grown men at age 13), and that it is an expression of patriarchy, making public spaces a place where men can dominate and be abusive towards women, especially if they are rebuffed. Not trying to be alarmist, but unfortunately my research has turned up a really, really, effed up story where an 18 year old young woman in Florida was recently shot after a car chase... because she didn’t respond “positively” to a catcall. She is in intensive care right now. WTF?!? Luckily, this isn’t the norm, but i think this points towards the intensity of non-safety that women can experience when men choose to catcall.

But WHY?? What is the real motivation for men who do this? And I mean, how "effective" is it? Is it just an endless public theater of woman-hating half-assedly masquerading as woman-loving? Or does this behavior yield wheelbarrows of phone numbers...? The sad irony is that so many men conflate this behavior with “loving women”, and i often wonder if they are able to really have loving relationships at all, or if it is always around dominance. There seems to be an obliviousness that they have started an act of aggression, and then end up feeling like they were “attacked first” after “just paying a compliment” when they get negative reactions.

Almost decade ago, a friend of mine and i were walking down the street in NYC, and as some women walked by, my friend went into a catcall. I gave him a thump on the shoulder and asked him not to do that and associate me with that behavior. The women laughed and kept walking. Whew. My friend has NEVER forgiven me for that! I almost became the subject of “the rage of the rebuffed”, he felt humiliated in front of the women, angry that i had raised my hand to him, etc. A decade later, we have still not seen eye to eye on that incident. Which confuses me. I think its safe to say that most men who catcall and think its just fun and “complimenting” a woman would get HEATED if they saw some man say the very same thing to their mother, sister, girlfriend, etc. So there is a consciousness that it IS disrespectful, but that consciousness can somehow be conveniently bypassed. 

And its also not so cut and dry, because sometimes... a stranger can comment and it IS perceived as a compliment. In a post on Angry Black Woman’s blog, The Ins And Outs Of Catcalling, that very subject is talked about, and seems to get pretty far in fine tuning the parameters of what constitutes harassment and what constitutes a compliment. But of course, the experience remains subjective, and what feels like a catcall to one woman may feel like a compliment to another. And of course, culture and class influences so much of this as well. Hetero men from oppressed groups may be acting out a way to reclaim power, but what’s the deal with privileged white frat boys then? Just relaxed into their entitlement and all that privilege i guess. It would also be interesting hear some same-sex experiences around catcalling too.

I wanna leave with my new fave catcall rebuff story. I had lunch with a good friend last week, and i was sharing some of my research with her. Later she rode off on her bike. I was later informed that as she was riding, some guy said “hey lil mama whats yer number” complete with a flick of the tongue (ewww.) My friends response as she rode away? Raising the finger and saying “One”.

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I am sad to add to this post that Mildred Beaubrun, the 18 year old young woman who was shot for rebuffing a catcall, died in the hospital a few days later. This was reported in the Orlando Sentinel. It is tragic & infuriating that this young woman lost her life because some man felt THAT entitled to a particular response from her. I hope that this gains national attention, and that this starts a larger conversation around street harassment, masculinity and patriarchy that leads to greater action around these issues. Blessings and light going out to Mildred, and her family.

The 4th Annual Queer Women Of Color Film Festival, June 13-15

Heads up Bay Area! The 4th Annual Queer Women Of Color Film Festival is almost here. It is recommended to go early since it is a free event. Click here for schedules and details. I am proud to say that i will also have an appearance on the big screen playing a small part in Monifa Porter's film, One In A Million. Its a short comedy about a lesbian couple trying to find a sperm donor. hee!