
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Rudolph and all of Santa's Reindeer Are Female.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Candlelight Vigil For Richmond Lesbian Survivor.

in case you don't know what i'm talking about, here's the article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/12/21/BAV714SBA1.DTL
Date: Saturday, December 27, 2008
Time: 9:30pm - 10:00pm
Location: 1500 Visalia Street, Richmond CA
ps: this just in, a fundraiser for raising the $10,000 reward to even more for info leading to the arrest of the 4 perpetrators is being planned.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Well, Obama May Be Getting Desired Results From Picking Rick Warren.
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
Wow. If you haven't heard about this yet, peep the clip above.
Words/feelings that came to mind when I heard about Obama picking the conservative, anti-gay, pro-life Reverend Rick Warren to deliver the inaugural prayer... disappointed, aghast, sputtering with "oh hell no", feeling for people who already felt hurt by Prop 8... and also still hanging on to tenuous strands of hope. My hope, feeling (and prayer) is that Obama is very seriously front-ending coddling the disgruntled right. On the real, progressives should probably brace ourselves for more moments where we are gonna squirm uncomfortably as Obama goes about being the "uniter". Considering the historical emotional reception of a US President into office, I believe he is also really leaning hard on his kudo points so he can throw the right some symbolic bones. And when it comes to it, that's all it is. Symbolic. I mean, I would prefer Rick Warren to deliver the address than to be appointed to Supreme Court. But it still hurts. And not only the LGBTQ community, and advocates for the reproductive rights of women, but black folks and other folks of color are also like "What??"
But you know what? The tactic is working. Chillingly. On Pam's House Blend, Pam blogs:
How's the whole fundie outreach thing going, Team Obama? Look at who's giving you praise for giving Rick Warren the mic at the inaugural -- Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council, the man who paid former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke $82,500 for his mailing list.Whew. So uh... yeah. Basically... people, i know this feels effed up to most of us, and that this may feel like a betrayal of all the votes, support, money, kudo points and prayer we gave him. But I urge people to hang on to hope while Obama placates the crazy citizens of this country. All I know is we on the left got a loooooong progressive laundry list for Mr. Prez when he's done fundie flirting!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sex Positivity: A Review Of "The Crash Pad" and A Critique of Queer Porn vs. Straight Porn.
*various links in this post lead to material only for people over 18 years of age. If you are under 18, read but don't click please! And there are other great things to read on this blog :)Let the parade of Sex Positivity continue!
So on our last trip to Good Vibrations (think you are due for a trip yerself :) my honey picked up some queer porn. It’s called “The Crash Pad.”
I actually know a couple folks in the movie she got, one of them being my friend Jiz Lee, and her awesome partner Shawn (pictured above). This movie now lives at my honey’s house, but I am super glad we got to watch it together! This was unlike any porn watching experience I have had. Dare I say, it was a corrective experience.
I just have to say, this movie has won several awards, including the Feminist Porn Award (another place feminists butt heads!). And it really was not only hot, but super refreshing. The plot was simple but titilating, and will leave you wanting the key to the mythical San Francisco “Crash Pad”. The featured players are hot, with real women's bodies. Different sizes and shapes, no fake boobs. And there is real chemistry on the screen; there are at least two featured couples who are partners in real life. You can feel it. And they talk about it in the special features. What else was refreshing... oh yes, the lighting wasn’t garish and clinical. And whoa... it took me a second to realize... it actually has *good* music! The background tunes range from ambient textures to sexy beats, and you aren’t beaten over the head with it.
Before going more into the movie itself, I wanna more delve into what was so corrective for me. The big differences for me, watching this versus straight porn, go straight into issues of race and gender. It was soooo great to see a movie that was mostly female bodied people of color/mixed race, and for that to not be marketed in a derogatory way. If one wants to see straight porn with women of color, then you usually have to get something that has no qualms about exoticizing women of color in really disgusting and objectifying ways, with titles like “Big Black B****** Who Crave Your Blah Blah Blah” “Geishas Who Blah Blah Blah” "Hot Blooded Latinas Who...." you catch my drift. Well... none of that oppressive racist and sexist crap is in here. I’ll be honest, the last time i tried to watch straight porn was over a year ago, and it just really traumatized me. I managed to find a dvd that had women of color of various ethnicities featuring in it (i have blocked out the name of it) and when i turned it on... each 22 year old looking woman was with a middle-aged, unattractive white man. It was like having a promo for sex tourism of my sistas thrown in my face. I kept flipping ahead to another scene, hoping it would get better, and it would get worse. The white men would get older and creepier, and sometimes there would be more than one on each young brown woman. A brown woman with a welcoming smile directed to men that i’m sorry, she really couldn’t have wanted to have hard penetrative sex with unless she was getting paid. I was nauseous. Effing gross!!! This was clearly not going to win a Feminist Porn Award anytime soon.
That experience broke through my last filter... i had long ago learned that if i am gonna watch straight porn, i am better off turning down the volume (which blots out the dumb music and the really super racist and sexist slurs and comments that get thrown around) and putting on my own music. But those images just fried me. It was such a graphic allegory of oppression to me.
“The Crash Pad” by contrast, had no slurs being hurled, and you knew that the women were *really enjoying themselves*. Which makes a world of a difference. You could feel the hot chemistry as they kissed* (no kissing in straight porn!! what kind of dysfunctional crap is this?!?), feel the intimacy in their eye gazes, witness the women giving each other real pleasure, and the hot build up of women having real, volcanic, orgasms. In this movie my pal Jiz Lee pretty literally exploded onto the queer porn scene with an ejaculation scene that is jaw dropping. It won her and her partner Shawn the Hottest Dyke Sex Scene of 2006. And i gotta say, i feel like i’m a pretty adventurous and open guy when it coms to sexploration, but wow.... Jiz and Shawn make me feel hella vanilla!!! Amazing, y’all. Hats off!!
Jiz also goes into her own critique of queer vs. straight porn in her Babeland: Babe Of The Month Interview:
Why do you see queer made porn as being different from other “lesbian” porn?Jiz also goes into sharing that "Crash Pad" has a special place in her heart :)
The term “Lesbian” is an interesting genre, often appropriated by the adult industry for the male gaze. Thus, it is equivalent to “Girl/Girl” pornography and the sexual acts you’ll see are pretty limited. Queer porn more accurately reflects the sexual identity of many of us in the queer community because the sex acts and gender expressions of the talent portrayed in these films are not held to the ideals of the assumed straight male consumer. It is made (directed, filmed, produced, cast, promoted, etc…) by queer-identified folks for the viewing pleasure of other queers. The sex is unapologeticly passionate, something that puts it closer allined with “gay porn”.
"Crash Pad" also features a refreshing range of gender for people with female bodies. From the high heeled and glitter made up femme, to hot faux hawked and shaved headed wrestling bois (again, see picture above :). This was also a pleasant shift from straight porn, where women can only inhabit a small box of femininity... the high-femme.
It was great to experience this movie, full of hot kissing, sucking, double penetration strap-on action and more. As a hetero-dude, this felt like porn therapy for me! To watch an adult film that wasn’t pitched to me in this narrow, oppressive, dysfunctional way... was really a corrective experience. This was made for primarly for queer folks to enjoy... and maybe its queer for me as a straight person to appreciate this in a heartfully refreshing way... but it left me wondering if other straight-identified men would have a similar experience. To see that kissing is sexy, that listening to each others bodies and eye contact is sexy. To see that women are beautiful, fierce and sexy in their real bodies, and alla that can have a beautiful diversity of expression. Because you know, we don’t get those messages much. I’m sure that there are more progressive adult films marketed to straight folks out there, but i can’t say i’ve come across any good ones.
Jiz has linked this post to the movie reviews, and has stated that s/he feels that my post speaks to some of their mission; which is to humanize queerness and queer sex. In this regard, Jiz sees this work as activism, and I consider Jiz to be one of the Bay Area's premiere sex positive activists.
For now, i’ll just be happy with my corrective experience, and wait til somebody tells me about some hot, feminist, anti-racist, multi-ethnic, pan-sexual porn, perhaps a bit more marketed to straight dudes.... Won’t hold my breath though! And for you bi-curious ladies and queer porn fans out there... this is the naughty stocking stuffer to get!! Available for rental and purchase at Good Vibrations, and you can order it online through Toys Of Babeland. Also look out for Jiz and Shawn's soon to be released film "Champion".... click the link for the teaser trailer (ages 18 and over only people!) and just peep the high production quality, hotness and emotionality people. Its gonna be hot! Something to keep you warm over the holidays...
PS: don't forget to peep the new link list of Sex Positive Goodness!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Bringing The Sex-Positive Feminism! And Links For Sex-Positive Goodness!

when i speak of the erotic, i speak of it as an assertion of the lifeforce of women; of the creative energy empowered, the knowledge and use of which we are now reclaiming in our language, our history, our dancing, our loving, our work, our lives. ~audre lorde
Mostly re-inspired by connecting with the folks at the Good Vibrations blog, I have realized that this blog is missing something. Something i can’t believe i haven’t properly emphasized before. Sex-positive links and posts! I mean, I have a couple links in the blogroll and stuff, and write about sexuality and gender... but haven’t been really getting into the juicy fun stuff :)
and before jumping straight into the hotness, just a bit more heady talk. As a feminist-identified hetero bio male individual, i feel i should qualify what sex positive feminism means to me. First of all, what it *doesn’t* mean to me is that there is a binary where if you don’t identify as a sex positive feminist, then you are a repressed body-phobic wet blanket. Not trying to frame stuff like that. Second of all, there is a radical left feminist theory that all sex is rape, because we haven’t consented to live under patriarchy, and a manifestation of living under patriarchy is eroticizing power dynamics in constructions of gender(anyone have a citation for that? can't find it). I would say sex positive feminism is further right of that, but still on the “left” (what is right wing feminism, one might ask? Sarah Palin apparently!!) Sex positive feminism affirms autonomy of our bodies and consensual pleasure. It also moves away from shame-based ideas around sexuality and bodies that come from institutionalized sexism, religion, culture, etc. In the context of women's bodies, which have been under fire in various ways under patriarchy, Sex-positive feminism strikes me as a movement to reclaim the body.
Personally, i have various intersections with sex-positive feminism. I would say that one of the ways i manifest that is to eroticize communication, respect, balance of power and safety in romantic relationships. Deep and honest communication is just sexy. It has also been affirmed to me that it is sexy for a man to ask if he may enter a woman, even if its the umpteenth gazillion time they have had sex. This speaks to the piece on eroticizing respect and communication. But grounded in real loving respect for a woman and her body, not just saying stuff cuz it sounds hot. Going deeper into communication, i would say that deliberately placing oneself in a space of emotional vulnerability with a lover creates a space where one’s partner can also feel safe to share and be vulnerable. By being a man willing to make myself emotionally vulnerable to a woman, i see this as not only a loving act, but a re-balancing of gendered roles. It is one way to live everyday as a man committed to these issues. It really shouldn’t be like that as far as i’m concerned, that just being a emotionally communicative man becomes *gasp* bordering on radical, but hey. Just to be clear, i’m not lobbying for cookies here, just sayin’!!
Deep mutual communication leads to deeper intimacy and trust. Deeper intimacy and trust leads to safety. And once both people (or more for that matter) feel safety, then the boundaries of consensual sexual exploration may be able to expand deliciously. Respect becomes an operative word here as well, in tandem with the trust. For example, a sex-positive feminist woman should feel free to be lead around on a leash by a man at a sex-party if she wants to, especially if she has the trust and respect of that man, AND most importantly, if that is her CHOICE for how she wants to be pleased. Obviously, a woman can do what-freakin-ever she wants to do with her body, i am just getting at the thing that a woman and a man could act out this scene and still both define themselves as feminists. This is of course where feminists can butt heads, and very understandably so.
My honey also added that although not everyone may know themselves well enough to know whether they are in fact reproducing patriarchal toxicity from sexual power play, it is also not accurate to generalize that all sexual power play is inherently oppressive.
I believe that playing with power and gendered roles in consensual, pre-negotiated and varying ways can be hot, radical, body reclaiming and healing. Because being “top/dominant” in a consensual loving scene doesn’t have to mean reproducing tropes of real oppression. Oppression doesn’t respect, love and pre-negotiate consensual arrangements. In BDSM circles, it is said that the “bottom/submissive” has the most power because the scene can only go as far as they allow it to go anyways.
I also believe that sex-positive feminism literally becomes about being the loving change we want to see in the world. If we can work through issues of power, oppression and love in our most intimate and loving relationships, then we are building progressive community, and really becoming the loving, liberating revolution that is needed. And i am talking about something with a lot more intention than the sexual revolutions of the 60's. I am talking about a sweet union of Love and Justice.
Well that’s some food for thought, enough honey to spread liberally before diving in. I was also going to review this movie that my friend is in, but i think that deserves a post all by itself. But be sure to check out the new sex-positive links in the right margin, which include Black Erotica, a radical manifesto for a poly-revolution, The Center For Sex Positive Culture, Babeland Toys, Feminist BDSM, my friend Jiz Lee’s site, and more!
Hope that this has been stimulating... holla!
Oakland Community Forum On Marriage Equality: After Prop 8, What Next? TOMORROW!

come thru and represent Oaktown!
After Prop 8....What Next?
Attend the Oakland Marriage Equality Community Forum
Let's seize this opportunity to create community.
Let's heal together.
Let's advance our marriage equality movement at the grassroots level.
Let's transform homophobia, racism and other oppressions.
Let's convert our frustration with Prop 8 into a positive force.
Wed. Dec 10, 2008
6–9pm (6-7pm potluck; 7-9 forum)
Intertribal Friendship House 523 International Blvd
Oakland 94606
RSVP at http://activelyout.com/activeEvents/events/10528 or (415) 621-2493 x372
Wheelchair accessible
For more information e-mail ca-alameda@marriageequality.org
Sponsoring Organizations: ACLU-NC, activelyOUT, And Marriage for All, API Equality, Asian Pacific Islander Family Pride, Bay Area American Indian Two Spirits, Calafia, COLAGE, Color of Equality, Marriage Equality USA, Network for Religion & Justice for Asian Pacific Islander Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender People (NRJ-API-LGBT), National Black Justice Coalition, Oakland Rainbow Chamber of Commerce and Labor, Our Family Coalition, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), San Francisco LGBT Pride Committee, Sistahs Steppin' in Pride, Social Life Productions
Friday, December 5, 2008
Ain't I A Feminist? Aaronette M. White's Study Of Black Feminist Masculinities.
Hey everyone, sorry for the lapse in time since my last post, its been a bit hectic! But I wanted to be sure to read enough of this amazing new book (dare I say, my new sacred text??) by Aaronette M. White, "Ain't I A Feminist? African American Men Speak Out on Fatherhood, Friendship, Forgiveness and Freedom." (link gives excerpts from book)In this book, AMW questions whether men can be feminists at all in her chapter "From Healthy Doubt to Critical Acceptance", she documents the role of Black men in feminist movements hundreds of years ago, quoting Fredrick Douglass saying "I am a radical woman suffrage man." She calls Black feminist men the "Sons Of Sojourner Truth" since Truth refused to prioritize issues of race over issues of gender. In the biographical sketches that AMW has collected of Black men who self identify as feminist, profeminist, antisexist or womanist, all of the men interviewed exemplify this intersectional approach to multiple systems of oppression in our communities. These men talk about the events that became the turning points towards this way of being and thinking, and both AMW and these men share visions of fatherhood, romantic and platonic relationships, and a truly holistic movement for Black liberation and healing. I'm telling you, this is THE BOOK!! I would even recommend this for people who aren't black folks... just because templates for dismantling patriarchy in our communities are here.
Allow me to have AMW and the men speak for themselves:
"What can be learned about feminist Black men's definitions and practices of manhood that would challenge institutional inequities, while contributing to the viability of African American communities and the construction of a humane and just society?" -AMW, pg.2
“Black feminism is frequently misunderstood. It may help to note what it is not. Adding the adjective “Black” to the term feminism does not mean that it is White feminism donned in blackface, for Black women only, or Black people only. Rather, there is more than one kind of feminism because culture, class, sexuality and a host of other experiential factors shape feminist perspectives. Thus. Black feminist thought, as used here, does not assume an essence of Blackness; instead it understands “Black” as a construct that reflects the intersection of a variety of institutional power relations. Black feminist thought has historically emphasized the intersection of race, class and gender, highlighting how African American women and other social groups are positioned within unjust power relations.” -AMW, pg.6
“What can feminist Black men’s narratives teach us about how to raise boys? How do we recognize feminist Black masculinities and support the different versions of it when we them, in the interest of broad social change? What are the public policy implications of their feminist activism?” -AMW, pg.11
“Men have to take responsibility to educate their kids and other men about sexism in the same way that White people have to take responsibility to educate their kids and other White people about racism.” - Jake, social justice activist, pg. 24
“When you become antisexist, you are perceived by others as a defector. Men don’t trust you, and a lot of women don’t trust you either.” -Bruce, Co-ordinator of program for men who batter women, pg. 17
“My experiences as a Black gay man have been at the heart of the anti-sexist work i do.... One of the messages that men get growing up is that the worst thing in the world for a man to be is gay, and to be gay is to be interpreted as being like a woman. People think, “Oh you’re gay so you must want to be a woman” or “You’re a fag because you are acting like a woman.” To come to grips with being gay has meant, for me, coming to grips with negative attitudes that men have about women and to realize that there is nothing awful about being a woman! I mean, tell me, what is so awful about a man being like a woman? So, addressing these woman-hating attitudes is at the heart of my work with men.” - Rex, Social Worker, pg. 27
“I grew up in a family where I saw a lot of violence meted out by my father to my mother. I hated how my father treated my mother. But I had to learn that if you’re not actively involved in unlearning behavior that you hate, you may find yourself repeating what you hate. I know what I am talking about because I became a batterer just like my father. I owe a lot to my ex-wife because she showed me pretty dramatically that being a batterer was not the thing for me to be. She shot me. If that doesn’t get your attention, nothing will.” - Soyinka, Labor Unionist, pg. 28
“In traditional Christian patriarchal culture, God is always male; and in traditional Christian White supremacist culture, God is always a white male. So, my struggle has been- over the course of my life- to remove the Whiteness of God’s image, then- over the course of my feminist life- remove the maleness from God’s image.” -Alan, Pentecostal Minister, pg. 34
Black men who are cognizant of the particular predicament of Black women, as persons who experience both racism and sexism, tend to prioritize race issues over gender issues and argue that Black women should do the same (likewise, liberal White feminist women often expect Black women to rank gender issues over race issues when the interests of both collide) -AMW, pg. 43
Men, primarily, teach boys and men to be violent. Regardless of how badly a father treats his child or the child’s mother, he also teaches, by example, a shameless way of being in the world; his actions say to the boy, “You, too, can behave as I do when you become a man.” Too often, “what fathers pass on to their children is their own unacknowledged pain, and in instances of violence, a male sense of entitlement to inflict pain on others.” -AMW, pg. 48
Boys who show the worst psychological development are not always those without fathers but, often, those with abusive or neglectful fathers.... Current research suggests that the key factor in a boy’s healthy relationship to his father is affection, not some essential, yet vague, role modeling of a particular concept of masculinity. - AMW, pg. 53
....when Black men truly see their fate as linked to that of Black women, they move from sympathy to genuine empathy. In this context, empathy is like the African proverb “I am because we are.” -AMW, pg. 39
...And there are so many other insights to be offered, some of which you can read at the link above. My only criticism, which she acknowledges, is that all of the 20 black men featured are middle class and fairly highly educated. I look forward to any updated work she does.
For those of you who celebrate Xmas (and also those who don't), I would suggest getting this book at Powell's or Amazon for a black boy or man in your life.
Thoughts? Bless up!
Friday, November 21, 2008
From 50 Cent to Obama: Change And Representations Of Black Masculinty.
"I will listen to you, especially when we disagree." - Barack Obama, Acceptance Speech Nov. 4th 2008
That quote alone toppled a whole reigning archetype of masculinity in the United States. "I will LISTEN to you, ESPECIALLY when we disagree?" This is a refreshing new model of masculine strength, after 8 years of "smoke em out of their holes" trigger happy cowboy/global gangsta rhetoric. The Cowboy archetype does not listen. Is not that skilled in communication period. Power is inherent through whiteness, maleness, access to money, government and tons and tons of weapons. The Cowboy is also the Playground Bully who teases and disrespects men who try to use reason instead of global bully measures. But now enter Barack Obama, whose unfolding archetype of a more balanced, communicative man (to the point of getting really close to people who opposed him, and appointing some to his cabinet!) And Cowboys now see the world shower him with adoration they know they would never receive. Its almost like the looped message we got from so many sweet (albeit heteronormative and problematically gendered in some ways) romantic comedies of the 80's: Beautiful and thoughtful girl is with the jock bully for the dance, but realizes that she really wants to be with the communicative nerd. An allegory for the rise of the outcast.
And the outcast has risen. Barack Hussein Obama, mixed race son of a Kenyan Muslim man and White American Christian woman, born in Hawaii, schooled in Indonesia... 44th President of the United States. History has yet to show the ripples that his appointment caused in the psyche of people of African descent around the world, to see one of our own, historically oppressed people in the most powerful office on the planet. I remember hearing so many fatalist conversations on street corners, brothas sucking their teeth, "They can't let him win. He can't win." And they spoke to something a lot of us felt. But i wish i could have been in their shoes, to experience what may have blossomed in their chests when the news came on November 4th. I was of course busy with my own "blossoming", elated beyond belief, jumping up and down. But i had a positive outlook from jump. And it was great to have that positive stance affirmed :)
In one swoop, there is new cred for black masculinity and strength. We have so many expressions of masculinity (as I explored in my post Nostalgia For The Gender Fluid 80's,) from jheri curls to dread locks and baldheads, from Prince, Earth, Wind and Fire, to Chuck D and Easy E. But after Easy E, it seemed that the only model of black masculinity that was perpetuated in the media was the gangsta. You know, like don't smile when someone is taking your picture, be hard. The ubiquity of these monolithic images is absorbed by all, to the point where a black man who doesn't embody that swagger and hardness may not be perceived by some people to be "really black" or "really a man".
And truly, Obama's blackness (or African American-ness, more specifically) is in question, since he is of immigrant African descent, and bi-racial. And also because he exudes Harvard and Columbia, not West Oakland or South Bronx. This dynamic and others are brilliantly critiqued and parodied in David Alan Grier's hilarious and insightful skit "Is Racism Dead?" Obama finds some solidarity amongst black men of similar masculinity... and the question as to whether racism died with Obama's appointment, is umm, dealt with appropriately :)
At the top of this post is a short documentary by African American anti-sexist activist and filmmaker Byron Hurt, a film called Barack & Curtis: Manhood, Power & Respect. Here the comparision of 50 Cent and Obama is delved into deeply, and how these expressions of black masculinity shift in the mass mind and the black community. Mad props to Byron and his work, he is definitely an inspiration to me.
I am glad that my young nephews are growing up with this new media expression of black masculinity. I am thankful to have balance restored in so many ways, including how black men are portrayed in the media. This is indeed one of the many positive manifestations of the momentum of Change. May Obama be blessed with at least two terms of exemplifying that a man can have access to aggressive power with out relying on that to express oneself, that a man can be communicative and be powerful, that a hetero man can believe in gay rights, that a black man can restore pride to a whole country. Ashé.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Transgender Day Of Remembrance
Today is the Transgender Day Of Remembrance. This comes at a time when Duanna Johnson's murder should be present in our minds. Statistics tell that at least one transgendered person is murdered every month, often with no justice served. Duanna Johnson's death has also ignited the progressive people of color LGBT blogosphere, since the video taped police brutality leading up to the death of a black transwoman seems to be taking a back seat to the marriage equality agenda. Which in some ways, with no disrespect to Duanna Johnson, i feel is understandable considering the momentum and magnitude of these historical elections, and the millions of people disenfranchized by Prop 8. But issues of class, gender and most definitely race further embroil tensions, even as memes in the news still perpetuate the idea that black people magically voted in Prop 8 while being only 6 percent of the electorate (new studies show age to be a more predicatble factor in who voted yes on 8... lets not start hatin' on the grannies now people...). For some, it would seem that marriage equality is not the priority when people's lives are in danger. Which is also, very understandable.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Alameda County Joins Growing Lawsuit Against Prop 8
The Alameda County Board of Supervisors on Tuesday agreed to join San Francisco and Los Angeles counties in a lawsuit asking the state's high court to void Proposition 8 on the grounds that voters did not have the authority to make, what they claim, is a revision to the state's constitution.
Prop. 8, which passed with 52 percent of the vote earlier this month, overturned the state's Supreme Court's decision in the spring which legalized gay marriage. The measure changes the constitution to limit marriage to that only between a man and a woman.
The suit, which also has been joined by Santa Clara County, claims any measure is not merely an amendment to the state's constitution, but rather a major revision and should therefore have had to pass through the state Assembly and Senate before going to the voters this November.
Its going down y'all.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Reportback From The Oakland No On 8 Protest.

Wow. I'm just recovering from co-organizing this rally. I have to give mega-props to fellow organizers Monifa Porter, Lawrence Ellis, Maya Scott-Chung, Carrie Leiser-Williams, Jen-Mei Wu and special props to Natalee Kehaulani, Molly McKay, Michelle Rodriguez, Aimee Suzara, Xiaojing Wang, Chelsey Oda, Ruth Villasenor, Sapana Doshi and Tracey Osbourne for all the support, behind the scenes work, and documenting (awesome pics Natalee! check here to peep the beauty!). So much love and respect also going out to those who delivered an uplifting, essential performance. And much love to everyone who showed up, and all who support this cause in any way!
This was really difficult to get together, with zero time for outreach (i still have so many flyers leftover!!) so we are thankful that it actually had a really good turnout!! There was a point in the organizing process where we came up against a huge obstacle. The name of that obstacle was unconscious racism. Without naming anyone, i will say that two queer white men (not listed above) who did a lot of work to procure the permits, and get some high profile politicians to sign on... also then proceeded to feel a sense of ownership over the process, and was expressing their unconscious racism by not wanting to "allow" people of color from Oakland communities to represent on the mainstage. Yes, we are taking about Oakland! They felt that they "couldn't be racist" because they invited Congresswoman Barbara Lee & Mayor Ron Dellums (who didn't show unfortunately). As a straight ally, i didn't feel like i could get all up in their face about how effed up their politics were. This really could have turned into a protest of the mostly poc organizers against a whitewahed rally in Oakland, with a separate stage of people more represenative of Oakland. But in the end, we actually came to a compromise. And it became a micrcosm for the work that has to be done to move forward into positive Change. So despite differences of vision and consciousness, and across lines of race, privilege and sexuality... we worked it out, and shared the stage and had a beautiful program.
There was so much that happened. The Two Spirit-Drummers created sacred space by opening and closing the event with the sacred ceremonial drum Two Eagles, which had been made by Two-Spirit/LGBT Native elders. We heard from LGBTQ families of various backgrounds. We heard from recently married couples. We heard a maybe 8 year old boy speak simple yet immensely powerful words about the humanity of his two moms. There was an emotional testimony from City Councilwoman Rebecca Kaplan. Aimee Suzara took the crowd by storm, debuting her poem "Dangerous" that was made for that moment in time (go to aimeesuzara.net to read it and see what else this amazing poet/educator/perfromer is up to!)). And there was much much more. I was proud to represent str8 black ally, and to evoke to power of the ally: Bio allies for Transfolks, Men and boy allies for girls and women, white allies for people of color (white allies that would intercept dialogue that would make people look at me and assume i voted yes on prop 8, etc). I also then presented a piece that was directed towards people of faith who interpret their sacred texts to disapprove of love between people of the same sex. I call it the Parable Of Empathy (forward liberally, but please ask permission before utilizing in a program or something):
.................................................
Parable Of Empathy
You, who love your God, Love your place of worship, love your community
Hear me.
Imagine that your religion, like all religions have been, is oppressed by a majority religion.
Imagine that this majority religion has a lot of power.
Imagine that the people of this majority religion very deeply believed that your ways were wrong, immoral, heathenlike. And though you love your ways and they are so right for you, it was wrong for them.
Imagine that they used their power to take away your places of worship that you so dearly love.
How would you feel?
How would you feel, knowing that instead of just loving their gods, they chose to take the time and energy to strike down how you love your God, strike down your place of worship, strike down your community?
How would you feel, knowing that the people of this powerful religion are people that you work with? Friends? Members of your family?
In your heart, you would know that not everyone in this powerful religion did this, but wouldn’t it be difficult to see the humanity of those who associate with people who assaulted your way of of living and loving?
Humanity
Is what we need to cultivate right now.
We all have a task up ahead.
And that is for everyone, on both sides
To figure out how to see the Humanness
In the other.
(c) rmw 2008
http://fem-men-ist.blogspot.com
...........................................................................
Yes yes y'all. The work towards affirming the humanity of all continues! And I have good feelings about these revolutionary baby steps we are making. Fight The H8! Liberate The Love!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Protest The H8. Historical Nationwide March This Saturday Coming To A City Hall Near You.
*This just in! Oakland is now on the map for the nationwide protest! This Saturday, 10:30am, Frank Ogawa Plaza! I proud to say I am one of the organizers, please hit me up with contacts for speakers, poets, conscious comedians, community leaders, etc at str8blackally@gmail.com! And for those who use Facebook, spread the word thru this link:http://www.facebook.com/inbox/
Coo? Lets do this!
The momentum of change continues people! This very well may be the largest protest in the history of the United States that was organized in **3 DAYS**. Protests have been rallied together to be occurring simultaneously in over 80 cities, all 50 states. And now its gone international, with allied protests in Canada, the UK, France, Puerto Rico, Japan, China...Wow. This is the next level right here people. The unfortunate passing of Prop 8 has sparked what might be one of the largest manifestations of the LGBTQ Civil Rights movement. I know I want to be a part of it. Go To Join The Impact (hosted by Wetpaint) to see where the protest nearest you is, and when it will happening to in order for it to be synchronized, all-city style.
Aw man, they took down the awesome timeline of response to JoinTheImpact.com... basically, how this movement happened! They are juggling servers with all the traffic they are getting, maybe it got lost. Luckily I left a window open with it on there, i cut and paste, check this out:
- November 7th – Launch (original Join The Impact blog)
- 5 Hours post launch – First 10,000 visitors
- Midnight on November 7th – 20 cities organizing
- November 8th (Afternoon)– Thanks to the help of organizers, we made CNN’s iReport.
- November 8th (Evening) – Our site hit 35K visitors
- November 9th (Morning) – 30 cities organizing
- November 9th (Afternoon) – We got the attention of ParezHilton.com
- November 9th (Evening) – The tipping point – Traffic jumped to 50K visitors/hour. With the help of Hostdango.com, we immediately switched to a new webhost (Generously donated by Hostdango!)
- November 10th 8am PST – Our initiative goes international! Now there are protests being planned around the world for the exact same minute on November 15th!
- November 10th 10am PST – Hostdango shows even more generousity by upgrading us to an amazingly robust server to ensure that we can handle the traffic! That server goes live the morning of November 11th!
- November 10th 11am PST – WetPaint.com enters the mix of local Seattle based companies donating time and services. Thanks to WetPaint, we now have an amazing Wiki to upload contact information and protest locations for every single city! They created a social site just for us: http://jointheimpact.wetpaint.com.
- November 10th 11pm PST – All 50 states have local organizers in over 80 cities!!!
- We have had almost 1million visitors to the site since launch!
In the meantime... Say No To H8! And Liberate The Love!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
URGENT CALL TO STRAIGHT-IDENTIFIED BLACK MEN / STRAIGHT ALLIES
I know that we are glowing from the beautiful and historical triumph of Barack Obama becoming President Elect. But with the passing of Prop 8, we have left so many of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters behind.
With statistics that showed that 70% of black voters voted for prop 8, it becomes clear that there is urgent discussion and healing that needs to be done in our communities.
Now.
You don’t have to be a super activist or anything. Just a brotha with a conscience. I would love to hear from straight ally sistas too, but i really think at this is work that at least initially black men need to take on. If anyone wants to form a sister group, beautiful! Holla!! And for LGBTQ folks reading this (especially those of African descent), please feel free to let me know what your idea of a good straight ally is in this context, though you are not expected to educate me/us.
All who fit these criteria, please contact me at str8blackally@gmail.com or right here. And a way that everyone and anyone can help... start a dialogue here, and also please forward this on to others in the Bay Area (lets start local).
I can’t do this alone, and our LGBTQ family can’t wait. Humanity can’t wait. Let us harness the wave of change that is sweeping our nation. We need to act now. I look forward to hearing from you!
blessings,
richard
str8 black ally
ps to be CLEAR, black folks were NOT the majority of Yes On 8 voters. I believe we were like 6% of the vote. This is not about vilifying or targeting black people. It is an acknowledgment of deep work that has to be done in our communities, work that i strongly encourage others to do in their own communities as well.
pps i would ALSO like to emphasize that it should not be assumed that same-sex marriage is a priority in all LGBTQ lives. It is a choice. For some, there is a choice to invest energy in other issues where discrimination could actually be life threatening. Also, still others may see marriage as an archaic institution steeped in patriarchy and capitalism, a trope of heterosexual culture that some can do without. All very understandable. To me anyway. To be clear, I am allying with LGBTQ folks who are affected by Prop 8 passing. And i would like to see this heterosexual privilege topple. Blesss....
Monday, November 3, 2008
Envision... Two Little Black Girls Living And Playing In The White House!

Thank you Bea, for this most precious image! I am now holding it in my heart and mind with a smile that I will have when I cast my ballot. My good friend, Beandrea Davis CYT of JoyfullyBea.com always BRINGS IT in a most positive and insightful way. A magic weaver, helping others to weave magic too. I invite you to also hold this image, as you vote (if you haven't voted already!!) Beandrea goes on to say:
The image of two Black girls living in the White House, being tucked in at night by their parents – the President and First Lady of the United States of America – fills me with hope. I see them laughing, having sleepovers, playing. (I recently read their mother actually puts “play” on to-do lists for them!) Malia and Sasha Obama are ages 10 and 7, and they are Black. Two Black girls living in the White House. The sweetness of that picture!Mmmm. Yes. I Vote For The New Sweetness!! Ashé! more>>
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Just To Be Sure We Are Clear On Propositions, California...

NO on Props 4, 6, 8 & 9, YES on 2, 5 & 12, YES on OO, VV & WW.
This was well researched, only props N and NN are leaving us kinda going either way, but we gravitated towards Yes for N, and No for NN.
here are some resources so you can make your own decisions, though i know you trust me just fine :) See you in Obamaland next week!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Finally, A Comprehensive Online Resource For TransYouth!

For real! When I started this blog, I was amazed at how few online resources there were for transfolk. This website seems to really make up for it though. Its called TransYouth.com. Thanks to the lovely people blogging over at Good Vibrations, I am now able to bring this to you... I think me and GV are starting a blog love affair, posting articles from each others blogs :) They are awesome, and reminding me that i should be putting more sex positive posts out there too.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Wanda Sykes On Gay Marriage
**CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE/PROFANITY. IF UNDER 18, PLEASE CHECK OUT ONE OF THE OTHER POSTS. There's good stuff, truss me
Whooo! I didn't know that Wanda Sykes was this awesome! this is hilarious, and deals with the psychology around this issue with brilliance. Humor is definitely the way to get these kinda points across, kudos to her. I am also amped to see a prominent sista in the entertainment world take this on.
One of my favorite quotes that just says it all with undeniable simplicity: "if you don't believe in same-sex marriage... then DON'T MARRY SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX!" You know?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Tribe 8: Vote NO on Proposition 8
I am proud to feature this PSA on my blog, featuring my multi-talented and kick-ass friend Leslie Mah (who is also my tattoo artist). Leslie Mah and Lynn Breedlove of the hard rockin Tribe 8 band deliver an important message. Its up to us to help ensure that archaic ideas that would deny millions of loving, consenting adults the right to get married do NOT get written into law.
This is a moment in time not too dissimilar from when social movements were galvanizing to topple oppressive miscegenation laws in this country, pushing the idea of illegal interracial marriage further into cultural obsolescence. Lets continue to evolve, shall we?
Also help out by donating to make sure that this and other messages get out to voters who have been deluged with lies (that if the discriminating Prop 8 doesn't pass then churches will be taxed, it will affect education... bald faced, desperate lies!!). See the Equality California site and the No On Prop 8 site for details.
Also be sure to vote No on 4, 6 & 9!!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The Best of fem.men.ist: A 6 Month Retrospective.
Wow. its already been 6 months since i decided to try out this "blogging thing". It actually started as an idea to create a social networking page for women (bio or trans) who wanted to meet feminist men, but it gradually turned into the discourse you see here.
Over the 6 months, It has made me really happy to see that my relatively new blog has been getting thousands of hits comprised of people from every continent on the planet, much less to see that college websites and a campus safety website are listing fem.men.ist as a resource. I have also been really grateful to all the other progressive bloggers who have put me in their blogroll. And of course, I am very grateful to anyone who has commented here, or in person, and to all the lurkers who come back time and time again. :)
SO! Fave posts. Your faves, my faves. I got a couple categories, here goes:
Most Popular "101" Posts.
These posts consistently got a lot of hits, and dealt with fundamental definitions and strategies.
The Male Privilege Checklist (gets many many hits every week!)
Five Ways To Be A Trans Ally (A serious post, very helpful)
The Roots Of Xicanisma (Xicanisma, or Chicana Feminism, defined)
Signature fem.men.ist posts:
These deal with issues that are close to my heart & culture, and pertain mostly to issues of sexuality and masculinity.
Thoughts On Jamaica, Masculinity, Performing Gender, Orishas & House Music (i LOVE this post! This is stuff I have thought about for awhile, which intersects personal identities as a Jamaican, a dj, a man, a follower of Orisha, etc)
Homophobia In Jamaica: Thoughts Intersecting Current Politics, Dancehall, Colonialism, Religion, Slavery & Jamaican Patriarchy. (My signature post on homophobia in Jamaica.)
Nostalgia For The Gender Fluid 80's (Could Ready For The World drop now? Earth Wind And Fire? Or can black men only embody a 50 Cent kind of masculinity in the media? This still gets a lot of hits too)
other fem.men.ist faves
Upstream : Prosem About Being An Ally. (This was my first to take on a more creative poetic structure. Also see the post i did last month which was a haiku tribute to Nanny Of The Maroons and Harriet Tubman.)
Report Back From The SFWAR Walk Against Rape (This was a very special and inspiring day. Spirit willing, I want to do this walk every year. Hopefully will have some other men of color down to walk with me too, but i wanna walk regardless)
What Is One Sexist Thing You Are Trying To Unlearn? (Was really trying to create dialogue with this one! It caused some good discussions, on and offline.)
Not So Nice Outside: Street Harassment Is The Rage This Season. (Did this post during the summer. A VERY surprising comment dialogue came from this one!)
MOST CONTROVERSIAL POST!
Whew. Hands down:
Bob Marley's "Kinky Reggae": A Coded Song Preaching Tolerance For Homosexuality And Jamaican Sexual Taboos? (This also holds the record for most commented post. [56 comments at last count!!] And the comments range from agreement, to drawing anger from Rastas, to somehow becoming delvings into erotica written in patois... and much more. This was an intense one, watch di ride!)
So yes, enjoy clicking and reading and commenting and bookmarking and forwarding! There is of course, much more going on in the archives, and perhaps you will find other posts that are your "hands down" favorites. Already, even the post right below this one is getting a crazy amount of hits (Heterosexuality Is A House Of Cards That Can Collapse Anytime! Too. Frikkin. Hilarious).
Thanks again for helping to make this a successful blog. If this has helped make just one male bodied person change their perspective around their privilege, sexism and heterosexism, i feel like i have done my job. No On Props 4, 6, 8 and 9, Go Obama, all power to the people. Bless up!
with love and solidarity,
richard