Thursday, April 3, 2008

welcome to fem.men.ist

hello people!

wassup. around a week ago, i sent out an email to folks asking questions around their thoughts on a social networking site (for all genders) where one could meet "feminist men" for activism, friendship, dating, etc. i have gotten some good responses which i will paraphrase (hopefully doing them justice, correct me if i fall short!). A couple friends suggested that a blog would really open up the dialogue, so this is my first blog! exciting. :)

looking for feedback on this project, some of my original email said:

"a good place to start would be what the profile would look like- "favorite feminist icon" "favorite feminist book" etc... also pointing out inherent problematic things such a site could have would be helpful, or how to deal with the fact that there are so many places within feminism that one can locate themselves, etc etc. a structural question is whether it should have a questionaire/quiz that is the entrance test, or whether it should be open to all, and people just gotta represent, and get kicked out if they get trollish. thots?
"

and here are anonymous paraphrases (that you should feel free to claim, correct or bounce off of) of suggestions/perspectives left by some of the women who responded:


-it should be clear that "feminist man" does not mean "no longer sexist man"

-these men need to define what feminism means to them, and what they actively do to resist a sexist culture.

-the definition should include input from women in their lives, it should be a connected convo with people affected by it and those who benefit/are on the other side of that experience.

-men should share about how they relate to their masculinity and sexuality.

-sexism should be cross-referenced with racism, since they are both visible oppressions, and race clearly influences women's experience of sexism.


...and now, the floor is open! i invite all genders to contribute to this space, bring your experience and knowledge, and hopefully i can give something back that people feel good about. Thank you in advance, bless up!

in solidarity and ffloods of love,
richard

8 comments:

jyo-jyo said...

I think this is a fantastic idea, Richard. I'd love to meet more gender-conscious men who seek to unpack and question the boundaries of masculinity/femininity, chivalry/romance and sex/intimacy among the sexes. As a single 30-something woman, I find it's increasingly difficult to meet available guys who've developed a self-awareness of their own gender politics. I do know they're out there! Several of them, present company included, of course, are either my best friends, already taken or gay, Online dating certainly doesn't filter out the conflicted ones who want to be both chivalrous and liberal, yet also can't let go of weird sexist habits of looking at my boobs as I speak to them or valuing women only when they are conventionally hot. The strategy of a fem.men.ist dating site offers hope to independent, intelligent, sexy, socially-conscious women like myself, Further, these kinds of healthy conversations bridge dating practices with larger humanist concerns of social change that are less alienating and more encompassing. Bring the sexy fem.men.ists on!

Our Voices Matter said...

Hi Richard, Yes, good work. I was wondering about where are the men to work among men? So, I wanna put you in touch with a blog called ourvoicesmatter.blogspot.com. Its a cross-cultural networks of people of various races and genders. It would be great to loop in conversations about race, gender, class with ya. Can we put you on our bloglinks, and vice versa?

richard said...

thanks jyo-jyo! i hear you, and a lot of what you are saying was a lot of the inspiration for creating this dialogue/project. i would also like to connect with more like minded men myself, i have a large lack of gender-conscious men in my life. i treasure the coupla men that share this awareness in my life.

which leads into replying to Our Voices Matter... for sure, lets link up!! i haven't only sought the perspectives of women, i have of men as well, and i definitely want and need to build with men around this. as a man of Jamaican descent, my fantasy is that i would be able to network with more gender-conscious men of color, but i am of course open to dialogue with all who define themselves as male. besides, women shouldn't have to be doing all the work educating, we gotta work too... but at the same time female perspectives are essential in a project like this.

thank you both for being the first to comment :)

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hey Richard!

This blog is a great idea!

I am not a black feminist or a womanist but I will add you to the blog roll of BLACK WOMEN BLOW THE TRUMPET so the fem.MEN.ists can have a link to you!

Feel welcome to add me to your blog roll after you have checked out the discussion topics on my blog and know my flavor.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Minister Lisa Vazquez

http://blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com

richard said...

i'm there!

Kelly said...

hey Richard! just found you here - you're great!! hope to see you sometime soon at the coffeeshop. btw- looked for answer to perpetual stickies, but can't find it.

richard said...

Kelly! aww, thanks for the kind words, glad you like the blog! i hope you weren't too distracted from your other endeavors :) have you checked some of the more recent posts?

it was great talking to you, i'm sure i'll see you soon, and thanks for the sleuth work on attaining perpetual stickidom. take care!

Kelly said...

hey, Richard -- I checked back the week I dropped you a line to see if you'd responded but somehow missed it till now! I can be so scattedbrained. Anyway, don't want to clutter your blog w my personal blather but ... perpetual stickies can be attained by control-clicking the sticky icon in the dock and choosing Open At Login. Other than that, I was happy to see your face at Red Door! Was entertaining my visiting mom and, lordy, that can wear a soul down. cya round town soon or email - kellyak@gmail -. Now I'm going to explore your site more and put off sleep :) PS Geisha looks like as though it's potential to be interesting ...