Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Homophobic Men Are Most Aroused By Gay Male Porn

WOW. Sooooo... its been quite some time since i've blogged. Won't get into all the ways i have been using my energy otherwise... but i came across this gem, and it just made my day, i and i knew i had to post it here!! Science is amazing sometimes. I feel like it affirms what a lot of us knew already.

Heterosexual men with the most anti-gay attitudes, when asked, reported not being sexually aroused by gay male sex videos. But, their penises reported otherwise.

Homophobic men were the most sexually aroused by gay male sex acts.

Amazing. Insightful. Hilarious. And sad at the same time. It's not even a new study (1996). But now its official... Homophobia Is Gay.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Erykah Badu Breaks Down "Window Seat".

like, REALLY breaks it down. Definition of raw and real.

“the nudity scares the nation as a whole.... but what i really learned was that when it was packaged the way i was, no high heeled shoes or long hair, spinnin around a pole or poppin it... people have a hard time processing it when its not packaged for the consumption of male entertainment. So they don’t know what to do with it, or how to place it or what to say. Because surely, a woman couldn’t be intelligent enough to be making a point. (smiles)”

Friday, April 29, 2011

"UNDEFEATED": The Oakland Sister Council's Zine Release Event Models Radical, Resilient, Creative Sisterhood.

Watch this.... and prepare to be moved, angered, inspired.

The Oakland Sister Council was formed initially in response to a charismatic, attractive, unconsciously counter-organizing man who was targeting women of color in progressive/activist communities. His manipulative behavior traumatized powerful, community-conscious women, broke trust, and left some organizations trying to figure out how to recover, as he continued to build bigger, more influential networks springboarded off the shoulders of these women. Instead of being silenced and shamed, these women banded together to spit fire in the face of patriarchy and misogyny that DOES happen in progressive/activist communities. Don't mess with organizers y'all!!

i am proud to be an ally of the Oakland Sister Circle (i just wish i had been in town to dj pro-bono for em!!) , and i invite other men of color in our communities to step up, and not look the other way when one of our brothers is causing harm. Radical sisterhood is one part of the equation to rise against patriarchy and misogyny, but it is of the utmost importance than we as men pull our weight as allies, and dismantle bullshit from our end as well. i, other men, and the sister circle continue to toil at co-creating restorative justice, and how we as men can be optimal allies without taking over the movement.

this is a model for ending all oppressions.

check out their online zine and resourceful website. it ranges from sharing powerful visual art, spoken word, links to models of community accountability in POC progressive movements, brother Kiwi reppin for the male allies, talkin about love, solidarity and workin on our shit!, and firey, playful "you know what i'm talkin about" satire around the "Anatomy Of A Macktivist" ie, an activist who uses his alleged progressive/feminist stance to "mack" on women, be deceptive and get dates... which is kinda worse than straight up misogynists who have never heard of bell hooks. Feel me?

All this and more, check it out!!

Love & Solidarity to the Oakland Sister Circle!


Thursday, April 21, 2011

For Boyfriends Who Love Doing Makeup

For Boyfriends Who Love Doing Makeup - COLORLINES

i love this! especially how this sweetly doting brotha exhibits fairly traditional masculinity but is proud to be doing make-up for his girlfriend. i was taking notes :) Got this one from Colorlines, a gem!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Please Donate To The 6th Annual San Francisco Walk Against Rape, Even $5 - $10 Makes A Difference

Hello all!

Hope this reaches you doing well. On April 30th (two weeks away!) i will be proud to be doing my 4th year participating in the San Francisco Walk Against Rape, and i am thankful for all of the support to this cause so many of you have given. Rape impacts me through the lives of many people i love, so for me, this is an act of love, and one way i can contribute to dismantling patriarchy. Every year it is profoundly powerful and beautiful. I encourage others to walk, even if you don't fundraise.

This year, my goal is $1,500, and i would love your support helping me reach it. I'm asking for just $5 - $10 today, just so more people can be involved in supporting this. Know that $60 = a one hour shift on the 24-hour rape crisis hotline, so even $10 could provide a crucial 10 minutes in someone's life.

If you can give more than $5 - $10, please consider sponsoring a one hour hotline shift for $60, or donating $120 to sponsor a rape prevention/healthy dating presentation for teens (important work!).

To support these and other services, and to help build healthy communities free of sexual assault, please click here to make a donation.

For more info about the walk, the movement, SFWAR's services and more, click here:

Together we can help get survivors crucial services and help dismantle rape culture. Thank you for your time.


Thursday, April 14, 2011

Dear Woman: An Apology & Pledge From ConsciousMen

Have y'all seen this yet...??

Cons/critiques: REALLY wish it had more a diverse representation of men. Like, really.
Sometimes i felt a little twingey about the essentialist declarations of what the "feminine" realm and ""masculine" realm are.
Although i *very* much value these men bringing spirit and psyche into the discussion... i fear that they will lose the men who really need to hear this message, that it will be discounted as hippie ramblings or something.
i don't agree that submitting this apology means that "the past should be forgotten".

Pros/critiques: Wow. Besides alla that, its kinda beautiful in a really powerful way. i am impressed by how thorough this MANifesto is. it covers commerce, trafficking, religion, government, war, spirit, the human psyche and soooo much more. clearly, a lot of thought and strong intention went into this. its pretty inspirational, and for all of my con/critiques, i am glad that something like this representing actively non-patriarchal men and masculinities is out there. my very good female friend who sent this to me said she was moved to tears, so just even the healing that happens there also means a lot.

what do you think?

Friday, February 18, 2011

Empowering Women Of Color Conference 2011 @ Berkeley This Saturday

Click here to register for the 26th Empowering Women Of Color Conference that will be held on the Berkeley Campus this Saturday. I will speaking on the Male Feminist Of Color panel @ 10:30am, but wow... SOOO many other amazing workshops/presentations to check out! birthing justice, building community for WOC's in predominantly white academic institutions, community accountability strategies (i would be at this one if i wasn't doing a panel at the same time!!) healthy relationships, capoeria, dance, yoga, dj classes for women... and much more. Peep the grid below to see what's up, and more details on are the website. Looking forward to building with some cool brothas, and building community in a larger context as well.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Cisgender (Non-Transgender) Privilege Checklist

I found this deeply insightful checklist at Queers United... it has given me much pause, given me much to think about. I have thought about some of these privileges i have, but many i have not thought about in depth, or at all. All of the ones listed are deep reality checks, but the one that my eye stayed on for a long time was number 27:

27. At my funeral, it is unlikely that my family would present me crossdressed against my living wishes.

Wow. The notion of such disrespect, such refusal by close, supposedly "loved ones" to essentially really see someone, was really impactful. And the point of privilege is driven home... i will never have to worry about this.

Patriarchal notions of gender as static are really archaic. And harmful. To everyone.

Sending love and strength to my trans fam, stay up y'all.

Peep the rest of the list here.