Astronomical Kid "Stop Lookin At My Moms!"

"don't hiss at her, don't kiss at her... stop lookin at my moms!" love this kid!

Usher's New Song "Lay You Down": New Date Rape Anthem?

hello everyone, its been a looooong time. Been going through many changes. Will be stepping back up more with blog duties. Apologies for the hiatus, though apparently i needed to step back and grow some more before writing more.

This new Usher song was brought to my attention, so i YouTubed it, and was slapped in the face by these lyrics:

"i'll show you what love is if you let me lay you down... you ain't goin nowhere, nowhere, nowhere girl, not until you let me lay you down"

"i'll make your body come to me, pull you back when you try to run baby"

what?

I am furious, saddened, and frustrated with all the patriarchal elements that come together and make it permissible to put this kind of message out there. Whether Usher's intentions are consciously aligned with the danger of this message, no one can say, but for sure... this is a song about a man disregarding a woman's clear message of non-consent, and forcing her into a sexual situation against her will, under the guise of "love". This is a song about a man who has decided that because his "love" is so sublime, he has made the decision for both people involved around what has to go down. This is a song about rape.

I have already seen a man react defensively to this notion, minimizing the impact of the content of this song. I am hoping that some men will be able to speak to this non-defensively as well. This is a seductive song, done by a talented and loved man to a catchy beat. That makes this song very powerful. It glamorizes this behavior. Our young boys take this in, want to be cool, and if they are straight, want to be loved by girls.

As a young boy, i was one of the "sensitive" ones who had crushes that often never materialized into anything more than jokes and longing looks. My female friends assured me that i was special, and that someone would be lucky to have me. I imagined that i had so much love to give. I imagine some other young boy going through a similar situation, body wracked by hormones, longing for connection with one of his crushes... a boy who may be inspired to step up his "game" when he sees how a respected "pro" does it. And of course I fear the impact this may have on our girls too, as this glamorizes them being targets for unwanted attention and straight up sexual violence. Not only girls, but women, as it isn't just pubescent boys and girls influenced by this song. And for that matter, women are perps against other women too- but lets not get it twisted, cuz as serious as woman-to-woman abuse is, the stats of man-to-woman abuse is just waaaaay more off the charts.

Some may still dispute, saying that its ridiculous to say that "this song will make people go out and rape". In a rape culture (a culture that portrays sexual violence as sexy, permissible, and sometimes even funny) we are bombarded with messages that glamorize rape, and turn girls and women into objects for male gratification. It is more accurate to say that I fear the impact this song will have as another contribution to an already huge, toxic stockpile of images and messages that either subtly, or outrightly condone rape.

I am sure that any man who has a daughter (or wants to) would get chills at the idea of some young man taking her out on a date, then putting the powerlock on the car doors while crooning "you ain't going nowhere, nowhere..."

Our boys need messages around healthy dating and healthy loving. About respecting the autonomy and humanity of others. Girls do too. And boys especially need messages that manhood does not rest on ones ability to use aggressive physical force. Being a good nurturing father, creatively expressive, in touch with ones feelings and unashamed to express them, and having courage to speak up when something not wrong is going down (especially if all the other boys are going in on something not cool) are just some positive examples of expressing manhood.

I don't have a solution around the whole issue of this song being out there. I am not convinced boycotting is the answer, seeing how that hasn't been so effective with dancehall artists around homophobia. I am wondering what could really cause lasting change. At this point, my fantasy is that Usher would have a televised forum where we talk about this is in a workshop around masculinity, responsibility, gendered violence and sexism, and that after a transformative event, Usher changes the words to something like "we can go anywhere, anywhere, anywhere as long as you want to" or something. What ideas do you have?

On This Last Day Of Women's Herstory Month...

hello all! its been a minute. been the busiest i've maybe ever been, building, building, building. Its a good thing.

I kept coming across things i wanted to post, and i knew i wanted to post at least some of em before the month was over. Of course, awareness of gender continues throughout the year, but i wanted to share some thoughts and salutes... so here are several items of interest:

.....................................................................

Please Sponsor Me In The San Francisco Walk Against Rape!



This will be my 3rd year of walking the San Francisco Walk Against Rape, and each year folks have just floored me with how generous they are, and how passionate they are about this cause. I'm hoping that you can donate anything at all towards supporting essential services for survivors in San Francisco's only community run crisis center. Click here to go to my fundraising page. Click here for reports from previous walks. It has always been a powerful and beautiful experience. Thanks in advance for any support!



......................................................................

Only The Congolese Will Initiate And Bring Change To The D.R. Congo

a sobering message from the women of DRC; a powerful stance on their humanity, and being tired of being seen as victims by the world, as opposed to being seen as some of the strongest and most resilient women in the world. They also state that if things are gonna change, its gonna have to be on their terms, not the terms of well intentioned people who are not from DRC. Real talk.

......................................................................

The Crunk Feminist Collective: Where Crunk Meets Conscious And Feminism Meets Cool

Just wanted to shout out this hot new blog! Nuff props. If I may share some of their mission statement:

The Crunk Feminist Collective (CFC) will create a space of support and camaraderie for hip hop generation feminists of color, queer and straight, in the academy and without, by building a rhetorical community, in which we can discuss our ideas, express our crunk feminist selves, fellowship with one another, debate and challenge one another, and support each other, as we struggle together to articulate our feminist goals, ideas, visions, and dreams in ways that are both personally and professionally beneficial.

The CFC aims to articulate a crunk feminist consciousness for women and men of color, who came of age in the Hip Hop Generation, by creating a community of scholars-activists from varied professions, who share our intellectual work in online blog communities, at conferences, through activist organizations, and in print publications and who share our commitment to nurturing and sustaining one another through progressive feminist visions. This collective is a forum where we seek to speak our own truths, and to both magnify and encourage the feminist credos that shape and inform our lives and that we use to engage and transform our world. Crunk Feminism is the animating principle of our collective work together and derives from our commitment to feminist principles and politics, and also from our unapologetic embrace of those new cultural resources, which provide or offer the potential for resistance. Crunk(ness) is our mode of resistance that finds its particular expression in the rhetorical, cultural, and intellectual practices of a contemporary generation.

And then they go even deeper into the paradigm of "crunk(ness)" and how it relates to a revolutionary platform when combined with a feminist lens. It's off the hook. Peep the rest of the mission statement, the blog, and GET YOUR MIND RIGHT!

........................................................................

Erykah Badu's "Window Seat" Video



***If video is removed, go to Erykah's official site to view!

Sooo... maybe if you've been busy spring cleaning under a rock lately, then perhaps you haven't heard about this new Erykah video that is making huge waves on the internets. People love it. People hate it. It's known as the video where Erykah gets nekkid at the site of JFK's assassination. I am one of the people who love it, and see this as a timeless, provocative, thought provoking work of art. If you haven't seen it, check it out and then read on....

A lot of people are not happy about the combination of nudity and the JFK thing. Or just the nudity. And why JFK, people might ask? Why not MLK, or X? Who knows... to broaden audience? To not ruffle the feathers of people in the black community who would already disapprove of the video? Simply because its a more scenic location? Or because its her home town? Who knows.

I will cut and paste what i said on The Root about this video, where images of Venus Hottentot and Aunt Jemima were raised, as well as seeing the liberation that Erykah is evoking:

i am definitely hearing all of the perceptions and views on this video. my feeling is that this may be the first video where a black woman's body is shown in a way that causes people to think about deep issues, our own shine, how much we may repress of ourselves so we don't get "assassinated" in literal or virtual ways. Those deep issues gave rise to this post and thread! In my opinion, this was a huge depart from just being another dime a dozen portrayal of the black woman's body as a hypersexualized object for mass consumption by men. I have not looked at those videos and thought of deep messages around liberation, evolution, body image, and more.

in truth, Erykah probably knows that a segment of our population will "assassinate" her for "revealing herself". I feel that she is clear that she is of divinity (as all of us are) and that her body is not something to be ashamed of. I thought this was a very meaningful video that resonated with even me as a black man, and how much psychological armor i must wear to walk through the world. I will never know the black female experience, but i imagine that she was speaking about disrobing of the black female version of that armor, and getting free, evolving.

There is also a good short commentary on this video on NPR.

Go on Erykah. I'll be picking up that album soon.

......................................................................

...And One More Music Selection: Janet Jackson "Nasty", The Classic Dancefloor Filling Anti-Harassment Anthem



Do you remember when you first heard "Nasty" and it was the rawest, edgiest, crunkest beat you had ever heard? Wanted to close out with this 80's gem, where Janet was bringin the fierceness, making anti-harassment cool, asserting strong boundaries without apology, all while rockin the then groundbreaking Paula Abdul choreography (she is in the video too!). Enjoy the memories!
Her name ain't baby y'all....

...feels good to have finally made a post. May all the revolutionary seeds that people planted this month come to glorious fruition this spring! Heartful salute to all the moms, sistas, women and girls. Bless up

MAAAN UP! Presents A Community Forum on Street Harassment / Screening of "BACK UP! Concrete Diaries"

BACK UP! concrete diaries from Nijla Mumin on Vimeo.

MAAAN UP! Presents: a community screening of BACK UP! Concrete Diaries, a documentary on street harassment from the perspective of sistas

This is a free event. All are welcome. please come out with your lovers, family, colleagues and community members, and watch Nijla Mumin & co-director Monique Hazeur's impactful and extremely relevant work-in-progress. Q&A with the filmmaker follows, donations accepted in support of the completion of this film. We would also love to see men and boys representing at this event!

BACK UP! Concrete Diaries
This Wednesday, 6-8:30pm
500 William Street,
corner of William and Telegraph @ 20th
free admission, seating for 30.
small snacks and beverages will be available.

looking forward to connecting around this issue, and pleasse forward this to your community! Bless up

***PS: extra prize for women who bring a man or boy with them!!


MAAAN UP! is the Men of African Ancestry Action Network for Unlearning Patriarchy. We hold spaces for men of African ancestry to process issues of black masculinity and its intersections with patriarchy, and seek multivariate strategies to be allies to women and girls.

Video Perspective Of The Richmond Peace March For Rape Survivors

hello everyone.... wow, its been a minute. i got REALLY caught up in the demands of grad school, i'm just kinda re-emerging now. Happy New Year y'all!! Thought i'd post some stuff before the next term starts!! Also, i do want to share some of the stuff i've been learning too, i think that is necessary part of the process, ie, getting access to information and democratizing it, sharing it. I found some very interesting articles while doing research where the search keywords were masculinity, empathy and harassment.

San Francisco based filmmaker Aleada Minton, put together a video of short interviews and perspectives of the Richmond Rally that happened in November 2009 (i also blogged about it here, and here). I am glad that this rally has been documented in so many mediums. Thank you for your work Aleada! Check it out.

International Day For The Elimination Of Violence Towards Women And Girls

This statement was released today by Ms. Thoraya Ahmed Obaid, the executive director of the United Nations Population Fund:

Every day, women and girls are subject to domestic violence, exploitation, sexual violence, trafficking, honour crimes, harmful traditional practices, such as bride burning and early marriages, and other forms of violence against their bodies, minds and human dignity.

As many as one in three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused in some other way.

In the 16 days leading up to Human Rights Day and every day, let us come together to demand an end to the most pervasive yet least reported human rights abuse in the world.

Let us all take a stand and say loud and clear ‘No to violence against women’.

In this demand, we are joined by a new network of men leaders led by United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon as part of the United Nations UNite Campaign to end violence against girls and women. I welcome their leadership and commitment to actively engage men and boys in the cause to end impunity, promote justice and human rights, and end widespread violence against girls and women.

Whether they are policy makers, community or religious leaders, fathers or husbands, uncles, brothers or young boys, they can all do their part to eliminate all forms of violence against women.

Real talk. What I want to know is... how can i be down with the mens at the UN?!? So great to see male responsibility and alliance happening at this level. I found this to be very hope inspiring. And UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon himself is quoted to say:

I call on men and boys everywhere to join us. Break the silence. When you witness violence against women and girls, do not sit back. Act. Advocate. Unite to change the practices and attitudes that incite, perpetrate and condone this violence. Violence against women and girls will not be eradicated until all of us – men and boys - refuse to tolerate it.

I. Am. Loving. This. 

Real talk, real manhood going on here. 

Also click here to follow how 16 days of "artivism" will be transpiring in the Bay Area, starting today (sorry i didn't post this earlier, grad school is needin much attention!)

I'm excited about this news. THIS is something I am giving thanks for this holiday. Very appropriate considering this holiday is founded on violence and genocide... so its fitting for a movement to now form to actively work to undo "the most pervasive yet least reported human rights abuse in the world". Sometimes I think we actually are evolving...  

.

10 Year-Old Boy Won't Stand For The Pledge Of Allegiance Until No More Discrimination Against Gays.

ok, this kid is officially the hero of the month. 

I find this to be so relevant to my more recent posts about the recent sexual assault in Richmond, because so many boys watched a gang rape occur, and some have reported being scared to have done anything about it, because of peer pressure (One did also try to help her as well, and is now dealing with being labelled a "snitch"). Here, Will Phillips, a 10 year-old 5th grader boy who is taking on tons of homophobic teasing, but remaining firm in his stance. You have to check this kid out too, he's pretty serious and "adult intellectual", to a point where its kinda cute and funny (hope this kid actually finds time to play and be a kid too!!). But he broke it down, he doesn't want to stand to honor the pledge of allegiance until there is really "liberty and justice for all." He even states that there "really isn't liberty and justice for all, gays and lesbians can't marry, and there's still a lot of racism and sexism in the world. yeah." WHATTT?!? I hope that this catches on, wanna see whole classrooms refusing to stand. I'm personally glad I went to high school in Jamaica and never had to be stand to honor "liberty and justice for all" in a country rife with various institutionalized oppressions. 

I wonder if Universal Studios is just waiting for Will to grow up and become a lawyer so that they can jump on the movie rights. And i don't think Will will have to worry about getting into a law school either. 

.

Photo Essay On The Richmond Peace Rally For Rape Survivors

Oakland photographer Bethanie Hines did a powerful, moving and beautiful capture of the rally Saturday. It really vividly depicts the passion, unity, hope, strength and power of community. I will post some pictures here, but for the full glory, please click here for the complete gallery. 

Bethanie Hines 2009 (c)

.

Be A Part Of The Movement Towards A Rape Free Future: Catalyst For Change Tonite @ 6:30pm

This is the only picture i took with my cellphone at the Richmond Peace Rally that happened on Saturday. These boys are carrying signs that say "No Rape" and are also promoting Love. And they recieved soooo much love for being there, and indeed this should be positively reinforced. 

This is the kind of future we need to invest in. 

It was good to see over 200 folks show up to say no to rape and help strategize and build. The press was there too. The mayor of Richmond came and said some for real real stuff about institutionalized sexism, racism and poverty, and that this is larger than Richmond. The organizers Elecia & Kiki also held it down, two sistas representing as strong and vocal survivors, and affirming that it only takes a couple of willful individuals to make rallies like this happen. One youngblood highschool brotha got on the mic and spat a rhyme smashin on the boys who just watched the gang rape. I was also proud to represent on the mic alongside other men speaking out against violence against women and girls. And we need to see still more men out here, Male Responsibility is at the core of this. Our granddaughters will ask where we were when the movement to end the Longest War was going on. Time to step up, time to redefine Man Up. Like the man who brought his sons to the rally.  

Tonight, there is another chance to build and strategize with community. A Community Forum called Catalyst For Change is happening at the Women Of Color Resource Center, 1611 Telegraph Street in Oakland. Its free (donations happily accepted), and children friendly. 6:30. Click here for details.

Please forward this permalink to folks, especially men. 

Prayers continue for the evolution of humanity...

Will Be Speaking Today On KPFA 94.1 FM With Byron Hurt & Weyland Southon About The Richmond Gang Rape, Male Responsibility, And More. 4pm.

(***please see link for archived KPFA recording. Our segment starts at the 26 min mark. Available until Nov. 17th. http://www.kpfa.org/archive/id/55809) 

Most people who live in the bay are reeling from a very recent heartbreaking and horrendous case where a 15 year old girl was gang raped after a school dance at Richmond High. 10 boys assaulted this young woman while another 10 boys watched, laughed and took pictures. So far, 7 boys have been arrested, but that offers me little consolation. 

This event has broken so many of our hearts. And many of us are not content to just be sad about it and then go on with our day. Something is happening. I have always been trying to galvanize men of color around these issues, and all of a sudden, quality men are responding to the call, knowing that something has to be done, and that it is time to step up. At a meeting I had yesterday, one brotha said that even though events like this happen all the time, for some reason this hit like "The 9/11 for people of color". 

I invite you to tune in today at 4pm to Weyland Southon's show Hard Knock Radio on KPFA 94.1 FM where an ongoing conversation has been going on with the brothas about rape, male responsibility, sexism and more. I was on with Byron Hurt, an incredible anti-sexist activist / film maker brotha who made "Hip Hop: Beyond Beats And Rhymes" which is an iconic documentary about masculinity, misogyny and homophobia in hip hop. Since the inception of this blog, i have featured video clips of this and other works of his in the right hand margin. It was an honor to be on the same show with him, and to build alliance with people like this. 

If you miss the show, it will be archived online. And there are great shows that have already passed that have dealt with this subject.

I am glad to see men stepping up, and that I am not the only one who sees that it is imperative for us to Man Up in this way, right now. This should not be the inheritance of our daughters. We must be able to say that we did SOMETHING about it. We should want to do this. For the humanity of our sons too. 

There used to be a time when black bodies would swing from trees while white folks sat underneath it and merrily had picnics. Talk about a toxic bystander culture. Well, thanks to the work of white people of conscience and a lot of struggle from black folks, this is no longer a cultural norm. Men need to step up NOW, to do the work required to move towards making rape and violence towards women something that is no longer a cultural norm. We need to connect with men and boys on this. Model compassion, vulnerability, respect as strengths. Model intervening in street harassment, critiquing sexism in everyday life in their presence. And so much more. I also recommend the book "Transforming A Rape Culture", which is a text book i chose for one of my classes. And for sure, i'm waaaaaaay behind in schoolwork cuz i have chosen to actually "do" work on these issues instead of "study" them. It feels like the thing to do. But i still hope i can finish this term!! Wish me luck people....

Giving thanks to the men of conscience who are steppin up. Sending prayers of healing and light to the humanity of everyone involved in this rape case. And their poor parents. 

The brothas gonna work it out....

**March For Peace this Saturday November 7th, 11-2pm. Richmond High School, 1250 23rd St. 

BACK UP! Concrete Diaries: Sistas Speaking On Street Harassment.

BACK UP! concrete diaries from Nijla Mumin on Vimeo.

Here is a clip from a full feature length film in the making, please support this film! Educators... screen this in your classrooms! Click into the vimeo link for more info.

And to men, please take the responsibility to talk to boys and other men. Make interventions on street harassment even when you might not feel safe. Can't we afford a moment of "not feeling so safe" if sistas walk this on the daily?? And you KNOW you wouldn't want to see your sister, momma, auntie or girlfriend treated like this, so where is the disconnect? Really gonna be researching this dynamic so i can move forward with some salient strategies.

This entitlement thing to the space of other girls and women is just wack, wrong, and juvenille. Guys, it is time to Back Up and Man Up.

(For a previous post on street harassment, see: Not So Nice Outside: Street Harassment Is The Rage This Season. )

A Personal Update... From A Human Scientist In The Making

Hey everyone! Wassup. Like my "about me" blurb has been saying for some months, i've been going through some changes. All very much about growth, but it has still been challenging to shed skin. But i'm beginning to see shiny new skin for sure. And i'm thankful. I’m probably going to be posting even less, but for good reasons.

This week I started my new grad school program at a distance learning graduate school called Saybrook. I am pursuing a Masters degree in Human Science. I was really challenged with choosing this field, because although it speaks to me (with courses like Social Systems Transformation Theory, Intervention In Human Services & Community Development, and various other courses that look at race, class, gender, immigration, global issues, and basically figuring out how to create healthier new social constructs to counteract the oppressive ones. After all... social constructs are constructed by people! Ok, long parenthetical statement there)...Although HS really speaks to me, I was continually haunted by the notion that i would not be able to create a living for myself with this degree. Should I just get a Psychology degree, since i have so much experience there? But i want to work with communities, not just the individual. And Human Science has a psychological approach as well as a social justice approach. The social justice approach was really lacking for me in my previous Expressive Arts Therapy MA program, but at Saybrook- there’s even a course called Expressive Arts For Social Change! Perfect.

I also plan to do an independent study on Black Feminist Masculinities while i am at Saybrook, as well as take courses that would help me specialize in doing Expressive Arts centered therapy with couples and polyamorous folks. Excitement!!

I feel great about my choice. Ever since I was young, I had a fascination with the idea of being a “scientist”. The archetype of the eccentric scientist that appears in so many children's books and movies really appealed to me from early on, and i remember playing with a chemistry set and microscope with glee. I only recently realized that i will be able to call myself a scientist after i finish this program! Instead of turning chemicals from green to blue and looking at a butterfly wing under a microscope, i will be breaking down paradigms and social constructs down to their most fundamental elements, scrutinizing them with a critical lens, and reconstituting them into something that can help communities, and honors humanity, healing and justice. The science of what creates a change agent and paradigm shifts. Yes. This is what I want to be doing.

So yessss.... although i am sure that i will be finding amazing stuff through HS research that i can post here once in awhile, I will probably not be as active as i once was (i was posting almost twice a day when i started, almost 2 years ago!). I am considering this to be a move intended to deepen good work around issues of healing and social justice. In the meantime, I encourage folks to scroll down, and also to look through the links right here on the right for some of my fave posts/discussions, and also to peep the links to other really good feminist identified sites.

I am thankful to every single person who has read, skimmed, lurked and commented on this site, and passed it on to others... as well as those bloggers, colleges, women’s interest sites and others who have linked and recommended me as well! I am aware and respect that not every woman necessarily wants or needs a male ally or for a man to identify as feminist, so i definitely appreciate those of you who find what i do to be of worth. This site is for brothers too, I am still looking for y’all man!! We got a lot to ground and talk about. I know hetero brothers who are conflicted, trying to find love... but how can you truly love someone you don’t respect, someone you think is not equal to you? This is only a little piece of the healing I am talking about that men need to do. I am convinced that the path of the male feminist is a path of healing and justice for all.

Aiight? Till soon y’all, bless up!!

~richard

The Vibe Lounge Closes: Community Organizer Robbie Clark Speaks On The Importance Of Queer Black Spaces

Community Organizer Robbie Clark talks about the importance of queer black space. Clark shares valuable insights on Oakland's Vibe Lounge closing in the historic context of the displacement of queer and poor communities. Also lays ground work for a call to action; toward building queer community with unity and power? Perhaps.

Raw, unedited footage shot by filmmaker Oriana Bolden from the last night at The Vibe Lounge. 8/16/09. Oakland, CA.

Interview: Robbie Clark
D.P./Producer: Oriana Bolden
Executive Producers: Susanne Borman and Lori Dynes

Feminist Sci-Fi Flick "Born In Flames" Screening Tonight @ The Golden Bridge Lofts, Oakland

A black lesbian forms alliances with Riot Grrls, The Black Power Movement and other women to form the Women's Army, sparking the revolution to topple patriarchy. WHATTT?!?! Lizzie Borden's "Born In Flames" is a must see. Its got raw late 70's early 80's flavor, plus faux-documentary, quasi-psychedelic DIY editing style... and has a conclusion that is jaw dropping. Peep the clip below to catch the vibe....

TONITE! 8pm! The Last Of The Afrofuture Series! 

Third Root Productions (W. Kamau Bell Curve) in collaboration with The Loft Project (New Life, The Diva & the Dj) present

Third Root Art House Film Series:

Black Science Fiction: The Afrofuture is Now!

Thursday, Aug 20th. - "Born in Flames" 1984. (directed by Lizzie Borden, starring Honey and Flo Kennedy)

seating at 7:30, show is 8-9:30pm (later on double feature nights), $5-$10 admission. Popcorn, munchies, soda, beer and wine available.

What:
Third Root Art House Film Series& Discussion: Black Science Fiction: The Afrofuture is Now!

Where:
Golden Bridge Lofts
http://www.sohoinoakland.com/
330 13th Street at Webster
Oakland, CA 94612

When:
Third Thursdays June, 18, July 16th, August 20th. 8-10:30pm

ADVANCE TICKETS
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/69399
Limited Tickets will also be available at the door.


for more information 
thirdrootproductions@gmail.com
thirdrootproductions.wordpress.com

I Identify As A Feminist, Hilarity Ensues. (And An Early Review Of "Black Male Outsider")

Last week, while taking a break from unpacking boxes in my new apartment, I walked down to Lake Merritt to read some more of Gary L. Lemons' "Black Male Outsider", a book that i've only read 20 something pages of but has really been blowing my mind. More about that later. I see a colleague running around the lake, and he is running with a woman friend. He recognizes me, and they slow to a stop to take a break, panting through introductions and stretching. My colleague starts talking shop, and the dark glasses wearing woman looks down and asks "what are you reading?" I show her. She reads the title, and then the subtitle: "Teaching As A Pro-Feminist Man." Her eyebrows arch skyward, and she lets out a hearty laugh, repeating the subtitle as if it were punchline from a good joke, with extra enunciation of the word feminist, to accentuate the absurdity of the "joke". I calmly smile and say "yes, i write a feminist blog." She looks back down at the book, her expression partly hidden by her glasses. She reads the back a bit, nodding slowly, saying nothing. What is she thinking? Meanwhile, I don't think my male colleague actually caught any of this, he was ranting about something unfortunate that happened at work. At some point, they decide their break was long enough. We smile and say good byes and good to meet yous. I watch them run away... and I am left with the impression that somehow, the idea of being a black man who identifies as feminist... is funny. Hilarious. Farcical. Something that comes on after Tyler Perry's House Of (Dire) Pain with a laugh track that comes on while the main character does an action for gender equality and justice. 

I think about the reactions I would have had if the woman had been black. If she had been white. She was a mixed race woman, probably in her mid 20's, and I personally don't know if she identifies as a woman of color. I wonder how i could have handled it differently. I wonder if she left still thinking it was funny, or if it left some other impression. I wonder how i could have brought my male colleague into this surprising and short moment. But most of all, I ponder that for this woman, somehow my maleness and/or blackness makes the idea of me being feminist kinda ridiculous. 

Would love to hear thoughts on this! And to be clear, though this left me feeling a little bit shaken, confused and minimized, i don't perceive this action as a mindful attack, or even something that i should judge this woman about. It brings up larger questions for me besides this woman's experience. If anything, I appreciate the opportunity to think about what this incident raised for me. 

SO YES. The book! 

It is a memoir and scholarly treatise that is speaking very very deeply to me (yes!! you understand me!! i nod my head so much while reading this) and like i said, i haven't gotten too far. I appreciate that he entitles the book "Black Male Outsider" because he has chosen to mindfully stand outside of the prescribed roles of heterosexism and patriarchal masculinity. Which definitely holds one up to public scrutiny and suspicion. How on point that I receive laughter for identifying with this book! Black Male Outsider indeed. Here are some of my favorite quotes so far:

"...Black Male Outsider functions as a pedagogical autobiography of black male liberation. With unbridled candor, it lays bare my yearning to be free from years of internalized wounds of white supremacist thinking and patriarchal masculinity. At risk of sounding overly dramatic, I am no longer afraid to admit that embracing black feminist thought was a life saving action for me." -xvi

"The more i scraped through the thickly layered, crusted-over pain of past boyhood hurts and heteronormative notions of masculinity attached to feelings of racial inferiority, the clearer I began to see the work in this memoir as spiritually grounded."-xix

 "We promote the belief that all men should be in perpetual process of soul work toward the rejection of white supremacist patriarchy." -xix

And there is much more, with references to bell hooks, Aaronette White, Manning Marable, Patricia Hill Collins, W.EB. Dubois, Alice Walker, Marlon Riggs, Audre Lorde and more. Click to Feminist Review for a full review from someone who has read more than i have! 

I do really love that Lemons speaks of this path as being spiritually grounded. This is spirit work, this is heart work. Love is a large motivational factor for me doing this work, as most of the people in my life are female, people i love. There are also many LGBTQ folks in my life who i love. It has become hard for me to reconcile saying that i love people while turning away when oppression is a daily experience for the people i say i love. It is a path of self-respect as well, when considering that latter notion. And also self-love, as Lemons demonstrates with the willingness to plumb into and heal the tender and exploited parts of himself that were warped by patriarchy. This is work I also continue to lovingly do. Among many other things, this path is a spiritual path of revolutionary love.  

Who do you love? 

.

How To Continue Supporting The Richmond Lesbian Survivor

Hey people, its been a minute. Going thru many many changes (like so many others right now) and I have not been able to blog as often as i'd like. I'm thankful that the winds of change have been mostly gentle around really significant events, and am holding the intention that it remain so (and also for all y'all going thru it too!)

When we hear about stories like the ordeal that the Richmond Lesbian (aka JD) went through, it also gives us perspective around our own viccisitudes, struggles, and quest for healing. JD was sexually assaulted and beaten by 4 young men on her way home from work on December 13, 2008. An outpouring of support resulted, which i blogged about. And the truth is, JD is still in need of multiple forms of support. This should not be a surprise. Her friend has a blog that is a call for continued support, and i hope that people will be moved to help out someone else in need.

Some powerful words from the blog entiled "We're Here For You" (**trigger warning, paints picture of JD's violent ordeal)

Close your eyes, imagine being on a street, in what many people would consider a dangerous neighborhood, at ten o'clock at night, imagine that you are there in the middle of December, and that you are naked. Imagine how vulnerable and frightening it would be. Now imagine that blood oozes from wounds on your head, that you are cut and bruised from head to toe, and you are shaking uncontrollably from much more than the winter cold. Imagine a fear so violent and so overwhelming that it is literally shaking your entire body in it's fury. For JD, imagination isn't required to conjure up this image, she has her memories, because she lived it. I try not to think about the half hour which came before this, when coming home from one of her two jobs, JD came upon four men breaking into a car on her street. Before she even knew what was happening they attacked her, striking her with such force on the back of her head that her skull was split. They thought she was a man, and they intended to rob her, but when they realized that she was a woman, a lesbian, the assault took an entirely different turn. They began beating and sexually assaulting her in the back of her own car, taunting her when she pleaded for them to stop. When one of the men saw some people walking up the street, they quickly shoved her into the car, and drove to an abandoned apartment building, where they continued to rape, and beat her. The entire time the assault took place they hurled insults about her femaleness, and about her sexuality, they were clearly offended by her being a lesbian, and it was their intention to make her pay for that offense.

No one deserves having their humanity assaulted in this way. I imagine that the path of survivorship and healing for this woman is just beginning. It is good to see that she obviously has a dedicated support system around her. I encourage people to visit the blog to see how they can help, there is a drive to just help her make this month's rent at this point.

Wishing her and all survivors of sexual violence healing and light, and also wishing healing, light and an evolving sense of empathy to the fractured people who perpetrate these acts. May the winds of change also blow gently on JD as she moves through this.

India Decriminalizes Gay Sex

YES! An archaic and oppressive law leftover from British colonial rule finally falls in India. I can only hope and pray that this indicates a domino effect for other former British colonies! If you grew up with Ovaltine, Enid Blyton, tea, marmalade, and your parents remember when money was shillings, you mus know is you mi chattin to! Heh. This is great news people, this will be a huge step for human rights. In places where old colonial "buggery" laws still exist (like Jamaica), violence towards LGBTQ folks are not only "justified" by interpretations of religious text (religious text that usually also recommends stoning adulterers to death. Not seeing that so much.), but also are given more cultural legitimacy when the law says same-sex sexual activity is illegal. At some point, it becomes forgotten that these were not our laws, and it becomes ingested along with other toxic, community fracturing and disenfranchizing elements of colonialism. I blogged more about Jamaica and historical factors that contribute to our brand of homophobia here.

This is amazing news, it gives me hope for more change on a global level! The Huffington Post reports:

In what many are calling "India's Stonewall", the New Delhi High Court on Thursday decriminalized homosexual intercourse between consenting adults, by striking down section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. This law labels gay sex to be an "unnatural offense", punishable with up to ten years in prison.

Drafted in 1860, this Colonial-era law was brought into effect by the British, and was in line with similar anti-homosexuality legislation passed in England at the time. In the past decade, gay rights activists and lawyers have strived hard to abrogate Section 377, calling it "inhuman", and as the Naz Foundation, which filed the petition to abolition 377 in 2001 argued, a violation of constitutional rights to privacy and equality.

Amazing. May the decolonization process continue for all former colonies, more power, more power! And may other straight allies also step up to these useless and hateful laws, so our LGBTQ brothers and sisters don'thave to do this alone!

Heh... I suspect that some of my more recently reconnected Jamaican friends via facebook must be like "Woy... Richard really serious bout dis ting!"

Sweet. I leave you with a suggestion. I highly recommend watching Deepa Mehta's "Fire" with friends to celebrate this victory, and stimulate discussion. Peep the trailer! Bless up

Last Post For Pride Month: Young Lesbian Of Color Teaches School District A Lesson In Human Rights.

This was one of my fave stories from last month! I thought it would be a good post to close out Pride month. Rochelle Hamilton, like so many LGBTQ folks (or anyone who doesn't fit prescribed notions of gender whatever their sexuality) was going thru a living hell at school. Her TEACHERS were perpetrators of hate against her. Ugh. The ACLU reports:

For Rochelle Hamilton, starting high school was the beginning of relentless harassment from teachers and school staff because she’s openly gay. One teacher told her, "You're going to hell. This is a sin." Another said, "What's wrong with you? What are you, a man or a woman?" After months of asking the school and the district to intervene—to no avail—Rochelle and her mom reached out to the ACLU for help. Together, we took on the school district—and won.

YES! Love it. Triumph of the human spirit. I'm waiting for the made for tv movie to come out. Alicia Keys could play the main role :)

Be sure to read the rest of the article, and there is also a video clip that has interviews with Rochelle Hamilton and her mom. By the way, they what they won was 1) new anti-discrimination laws in the district 2) mandatory anti-harrassment training around sexuality and gender identity for ALL students and teachers in the district... and 3) Rochelle got 25K.

Reaffirms my faith in justice and humanity!

First and foremost, Happy Pride to my LGBTQ peoples! And to everyone else i say... whoever you love, if this story makes you proud that we can work together to uplift each other and respect the humanity of our children and community members... Happy Pride.
.

San Francisco Pride: Party Or Police State?

Wow. Check out the Nobody Passes blog an expose on how SF Pride has been getting more steadily corporate and militarized by an aggressive hetero presence. Its very well written, and you can practically see the eye-rolls in the colorfully frank piece. I heard glowing reports from people who went to the Dyke March in Dolores Park (a lot of whom are still glowing from the hot sun), but who went to Pink Saturday?

here's a quote from the blog:

Get this: the security staff yells at us that we need to form separate lines for “men” and “women”-- I kid you not! Binary gender lines at a queer event in San Francisco, organized by a bunch of queens who dress as nuns. The security staff is frisking people and making people throw away water bottles, asking us if we have any drugs or sharp objects -- wait, I thought this was a public street, I didn’t realize we were visiting our friends in the tank at 850 Bryant.

this other example of over-policing is of note:

But there’s more -- just as Hilary and I are trying to make our way through the crowds to get to one of the exit checkpoints, we spot a few friends, and guess what? This year, the Dyke March got stopped at 17th and Sanchez, stopped by the line of straight male security guards who demanded that all the dykes walk single-file through the frisking station. That’s right -- on the one day of the year when dykes actually flood the Castro, it’s important to make sure there’s extra security! Outsourced security, no doubt.

Yikes.

.